Only joking (I think)! Well, as a committed public transport user, (I’m scared of failing my driving test for the 3rd time and I am very nervous driving, anyway) I have to be honest here and say I don’t volunteeer to sit next to people who carry aromas which upset my delicate olfactory senses, though I do it inadvertently. But I wouldn’t move (unless another full seat became available, which I would do regardless as I like a window seat). I would never be so rude as to discuss it. Having an 83 year-old mum who is in residential care does a lot to soften you up on that score.
I remember once travelling home from work on a crowded bus. A woman suddenly vomited. Not projectile, I hasten to add, Without warning, she was just sick all over herself (no-one else). Everyone around her was terribly English about it and sat perfectly still with a look of disgust on their faces. The woman looked horribly distraught and clearly embarrassed and about it. All I had was a pack of tissues so I offered them to her to clean herself up as best as she could. I couldn’t travel further with her as I had a latch key kid to rescue (appalling mother!) but I gave her my mobile and told her to phone her husband to collect her from the bus station.
I have the greatest admiration for people who get stuck into the grubbiness of life on a daily basis without being squeamish. It is a state of being I aspire to but I am nowhere near.
Speaking of buses, I was sitting next to a man once. He seemed to be tapping his upper thigh rhythmically. I was reading a book so paid little attention, assuming he was listening to his i-Pod or something which was unlikely, since (a)to reinforce a stereotype, he was in his sixties (apologies to any octegenarian i-Pod users out there) and (b)they hadn’t been invented then. This was beginning to annoy me and when I looked up I realised he seemed to be engaged in something of a masturbatory nature. Now that disgusted me. Something may well have popped up unexpectedly. As a woman I don’t know much about men’s bodies, but I’m pretty sure that firmly tapping away at it was only going to make it worse…
Never seen such a carry on in church, though…unless the sermon is particularly boring…
haha! sitting over the back wheel of a bus is a nightmare for the male of the species… this man was clearly lacking a little self awareness!
funny things buses, they carry so many sorts of people… maybe the church should be more like a bus, containing a broader mix. even poorer churches often seem so very middle class, don’t they? not always, just mostly.
I went to a baptism once at an Anglo-Catholic church. I gradually became aware of a heady base note of rancid body oils. So I think it was more clothes, long overdue for a good wash, rather than a smelly body. It actually made me feel ill (it wasn’t me, I hasten to add). Boy was I glad that I was in a ’smells and bells’ set up because the incense disguised it beautifully. As a Roman Catholic, I don’t get to smell incense much. These days we are restricted to a couple of times a year, in case we aggrevate somebody’s asthma (the modern epidemic?)
So, incense, that’s the answer to asymmetrical congregations…
i was in the bank once, when a very large man came in and literally filled the place with rancid odour. it was very unpleasant. but i wondered why noone had ever told him. he was a man in a suit, seemed like a business man… maybe he had no sense of smell, that can be the case. but someone who loved him should have told him… maybe noone loved him like that… maybe that’s the real problem.
You know, Jon, this is a bit of an unsavoury conversation but you made a good point about saying the tough stuff when you love someone. You know that you are secure in your relationship when you are able to freely express, “Blimey, my feet stink, I’d better go and freshen up” or “That must have been an exciting football match judging by the pungent aroma of testosterone in the atmosphere” Do you think there’ll be shower gel, anti-perspirant, foot spray, perfume, body spray, mouthwash etc in Heaven?
Re the middle class thing, I have often (being a bit on the cynical side) thought that Christianity is a middle class pursuit. This was heightened when I went to Spring Harvest, once. As a kid I dreamed of going to Butlins, but it was always too dear for my parents, so we would make do with a week in a caravan in North Wales. So it was bizarre to find myself there years later, long after the desire to be there had left me, having spent what seemed a vast sum for 4 days. The place seemed to be full of middle class vicars, ministers, pastors and their families (and favourite ‘church family’) all having jolly good fun “roughing it” in this working class holiday camp, competing with each other to see who had the dodgiest accommodation. Maybe it was my imagination. So much of Christianity seems to involve spending money, money that I’m sure, in a lot of cases, people who are skint feel that they just can’t afford and so feel alienated. I know this is not always the case and that some inner city churches do wonderful work and are involved in all aspects of the community. But it does sometimes seem to be a bit of a middle class club.
By the way, Subo, I love “Curb your Enthusiasm” particularly that episode. I feel so sorry for Larry, he is a real victim of circumstances and encounters with unreasonable people.
[...] to earth to let us know how much he cares. Jesus came to the marginalised and stood with us. He came to the outcasts and stood with us. The Archbishop of Canterbury puts it like this in his Christmas [...]
Brilliant,
Makes me realise i should cross over the aisle sometimes
Thank you for all you do.
Comment by Phil — December 7, 2007 @ 6:24 pm
thank you phil.
Comment by jonbirch — December 7, 2007 @ 7:00 pm
Honk?
Comment by One Salient Oversight — December 7, 2007 @ 10:36 pm
Honk.
As in Honky.
As in to Stink.
Or is honk the sound of a car horn?
Oh and is a honky a white boy?
any-who the point is pooh!
;]
Comment by kick-hat-snare — December 7, 2007 @ 11:07 pm
honk, as in… ‘you really honk!’… no offence.
Comment by jonbirch — December 7, 2007 @ 11:14 pm
Sat on a bus once. next to a drunk whose trousers were only just being held up.
They all were complaining about him as if he shouldn’t have been allowed on the bus.
I was very angry at them.
Sas x
Comment by Sarah — December 7, 2007 @ 11:50 pm
Ouch – in a good way. Moving from theory to practice can be so hard.
Comment by Catriona — December 8, 2007 @ 8:44 am
Oh…so that’s why no-one ever sits next to me….
Only joking (I think)! Well, as a committed public transport user, (I’m scared of failing my driving test for the 3rd time and I am very nervous driving, anyway) I have to be honest here and say I don’t volunteeer to sit next to people who carry aromas which upset my delicate olfactory senses, though I do it inadvertently. But I wouldn’t move (unless another full seat became available, which I would do regardless as I like a window seat). I would never be so rude as to discuss it. Having an 83 year-old mum who is in residential care does a lot to soften you up on that score.
I remember once travelling home from work on a crowded bus. A woman suddenly vomited. Not projectile, I hasten to add, Without warning, she was just sick all over herself (no-one else). Everyone around her was terribly English about it and sat perfectly still with a look of disgust on their faces. The woman looked horribly distraught and clearly embarrassed and about it. All I had was a pack of tissues so I offered them to her to clean herself up as best as she could. I couldn’t travel further with her as I had a latch key kid to rescue (appalling mother!) but I gave her my mobile and told her to phone her husband to collect her from the bus station.
I have the greatest admiration for people who get stuck into the grubbiness of life on a daily basis without being squeamish. It is a state of being I aspire to but I am nowhere near.
Comment by Carole — December 8, 2007 @ 9:51 am
Speaking of buses, I was sitting next to a man once. He seemed to be tapping his upper thigh rhythmically. I was reading a book so paid little attention, assuming he was listening to his i-Pod or something which was unlikely, since (a)to reinforce a stereotype, he was in his sixties (apologies to any octegenarian i-Pod users out there) and (b)they hadn’t been invented then. This was beginning to annoy me and when I looked up I realised he seemed to be engaged in something of a masturbatory nature. Now that disgusted me. Something may well have popped up unexpectedly. As a woman I don’t know much about men’s bodies, but I’m pretty sure that firmly tapping away at it was only going to make it worse…
Never seen such a carry on in church, though…unless the sermon is particularly boring…
Comment by Carole — December 8, 2007 @ 10:12 am
haha! sitting over the back wheel of a bus is a nightmare for the male of the species… this man was clearly lacking a little self awareness!
funny things buses, they carry so many sorts of people… maybe the church should be more like a bus, containing a broader mix. even poorer churches often seem so very middle class, don’t they? not always, just mostly.
Comment by jonbirch — December 8, 2007 @ 10:35 am
I went to a baptism once at an Anglo-Catholic church. I gradually became aware of a heady base note of rancid body oils. So I think it was more clothes, long overdue for a good wash, rather than a smelly body. It actually made me feel ill (it wasn’t me, I hasten to add). Boy was I glad that I was in a ’smells and bells’ set up because the incense disguised it beautifully. As a Roman Catholic, I don’t get to smell incense much. These days we are restricted to a couple of times a year, in case we aggrevate somebody’s asthma (the modern epidemic?)
So, incense, that’s the answer to asymmetrical congregations…
Comment by Carole — December 8, 2007 @ 10:35 am
has anyone seen the Larry Davy episode, where he has a trouser crease?
Comment by subo — December 8, 2007 @ 12:40 pm
i was in the bank once, when a very large man came in and literally filled the place with rancid odour. it was very unpleasant. but i wondered why noone had ever told him. he was a man in a suit, seemed like a business man… maybe he had no sense of smell, that can be the case. but someone who loved him should have told him… maybe noone loved him like that… maybe that’s the real problem.
Comment by jonbirch — December 8, 2007 @ 1:49 pm
You know, Jon, this is a bit of an unsavoury conversation but you made a good point about saying the tough stuff when you love someone. You know that you are secure in your relationship when you are able to freely express, “Blimey, my feet stink, I’d better go and freshen up” or “That must have been an exciting football match judging by the pungent aroma of testosterone in the atmosphere” Do you think there’ll be shower gel, anti-perspirant, foot spray, perfume, body spray, mouthwash etc in Heaven?
Re the middle class thing, I have often (being a bit on the cynical side) thought that Christianity is a middle class pursuit. This was heightened when I went to Spring Harvest, once. As a kid I dreamed of going to Butlins, but it was always too dear for my parents, so we would make do with a week in a caravan in North Wales. So it was bizarre to find myself there years later, long after the desire to be there had left me, having spent what seemed a vast sum for 4 days. The place seemed to be full of middle class vicars, ministers, pastors and their families (and favourite ‘church family’) all having jolly good fun “roughing it” in this working class holiday camp, competing with each other to see who had the dodgiest accommodation. Maybe it was my imagination. So much of Christianity seems to involve spending money, money that I’m sure, in a lot of cases, people who are skint feel that they just can’t afford and so feel alienated. I know this is not always the case and that some inner city churches do wonderful work and are involved in all aspects of the community. But it does sometimes seem to be a bit of a middle class club.
By the way, Subo, I love “Curb your Enthusiasm” particularly that episode. I feel so sorry for Larry, he is a real victim of circumstances and encounters with unreasonable people.
Comment by Carole — December 8, 2007 @ 4:02 pm
i agree with your sentiments carole.
btw. sadly i’ve seen far too little of curb your enthusiasm.
Comment by jonbirch — December 8, 2007 @ 4:13 pm
[...] [via ASBO Jesus] [...]
Pingback by Cartoon: Obdachloser in der Gemeinde » Schrotty - think about — December 10, 2007 @ 2:58 pm
Great cartoon.
Is there a ‘Who’ll…….? Jesus will’ series on the way? Just an idea….
Comment by David Keen — December 11, 2007 @ 2:06 pm
thanks david… it’s a good idea.
Comment by jonbirch — December 11, 2007 @ 2:33 pm
[...] Who’ll sit next to the man who smells. [...]
Pingback by December 13th - It’s Christmas - Where is the Baby? Wardman Wire Advent Calendar | The Wardman Wire — December 13, 2007 @ 8:09 am
[...] to earth to let us know how much he cares. Jesus came to the marginalised and stood with us. He came to the outcasts and stood with us. The Archbishop of Canterbury puts it like this in his Christmas [...]
Pingback by God’s Insurmountable Love « Muffinmn0302’s Weblog — December 18, 2007 @ 12:27 pm