hey lori… it’s about making kids adopt a certain kind of behaviour in church… where they dress right, sit still, listen, don’t question, so they can be filled with whatever is given them from the pulpit.
i happen to think that a bit of discipline in a young ones life is a good thing. it’s what adults are trying to achieve through churchifying them i find awkward and also what kind of stuff their offsprings heads get filled with which can be more than just a bit of a worry.
As an aspiring teacher of foreign languages to primary age schoolchildren, I’m always hearing the cliche, “They’re like sponges at that age…” But is funny how the little ones interpret church when they are just left to absorb it. Most in my church go through what child psychologists probably call the ‘Thanks Peter God’ stage. Hymns/songs are always good for a laugh. My own daughter gave me a laugh with “I the Lord of shepherd’s pie…” (sea and sky) and “Argos is a catalogue” (Our God is a great big god). Just recently I noticed two little girls giggling away in carol practice. They’d been practising the Basque carol and instead of singing “most highly favoured lady”, they decided it was much more entertaining to sing, “most highly flavoured gravy”.
And who can forget that dreadful heap of poo feebly masquerading as a song of praise(?) ‘The Lord of the Dance’. This has had numerous variations such as ‘The Lord of the dance settee’ and my own favourite, ‘The Lord of the damp settee’…
“The Lord of the Dan settee” really brought back memories of my primary school days! Mr Howley made us sing 2 hymns at every assembly. At theological college I remember someone planning a service with “colours of day” in it. I nearly died laughing all the way through! It was like being back at school!
woof! woof! … *waiting for my treat*…
Comment by jhieaxon moch — December 30, 2007 @ 4:46 am
Training the dogma.
Comment by artbizness — December 30, 2007 @ 7:50 am
instilling guilt and a deep sense of eternal unworthyness
Comment by subo — December 30, 2007 @ 11:06 am
…and probably a certain amount of confusion re the ‘naughty chair’…
Comment by Carole — December 30, 2007 @ 3:24 pm
i see you’ve all been damaged by this experience then.
Comment by jonbirch — December 30, 2007 @ 4:59 pm
It doesn’t work though! Anything useful you could do with a youth group is deemed anathama by the parents!
Comment by Robb — December 30, 2007 @ 6:34 pm
of course he sitting nice now, when he grows up and realizes what’s goin’ on, he will speak out and be called rebelious and not a team player!
Comment by thevikingfru — December 30, 2007 @ 6:57 pm
I’m trying to get this one. Is this about people who drop their kids at church and then leave?
Comment by Lori — December 30, 2007 @ 7:09 pm
They’re part of the church - the family - just like anybody else.
We do try in our our community to value our young ones highly.
Sas x
Comment by Sarah — December 30, 2007 @ 10:24 pm
hey lori… it’s about making kids adopt a certain kind of behaviour in church… where they dress right, sit still, listen, don’t question, so they can be filled with whatever is given them from the pulpit.
i happen to think that a bit of discipline in a young ones life is a good thing. it’s what adults are trying to achieve through churchifying them i find awkward and also what kind of stuff their offsprings heads get filled with which can be more than just a bit of a worry.
Comment by jonbirch — December 30, 2007 @ 11:06 pm
As an aspiring teacher of foreign languages to primary age schoolchildren, I’m always hearing the cliche, “They’re like sponges at that age…” But is funny how the little ones interpret church when they are just left to absorb it. Most in my church go through what child psychologists probably call the ‘Thanks Peter God’ stage. Hymns/songs are always good for a laugh. My own daughter gave me a laugh with “I the Lord of shepherd’s pie…” (sea and sky) and “Argos is a catalogue” (Our God is a great big god). Just recently I noticed two little girls giggling away in carol practice. They’d been practising the Basque carol and instead of singing “most highly favoured lady”, they decided it was much more entertaining to sing, “most highly flavoured gravy”.
And who can forget that dreadful heap of poo feebly masquerading as a song of praise(?) ‘The Lord of the Dance’. This has had numerous variations such as ‘The Lord of the dance settee’ and my own favourite, ‘The Lord of the damp settee’…
Comment by Carole — December 31, 2007 @ 9:52 am
“We do try in our our community to value our young ones highly”
I think the key is to ignor the people who say “they are the church of tomorrow” and remember that they are the church of today!
Comment by Robb — December 31, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
you’re right rob.
carole, i used to sing ‘highly flavoured gravy’… good to know the kids are still at it.
Comment by jonbirch — December 31, 2007 @ 3:22 pm
“The Lord of the Dan settee” really brought back memories of my primary school days! Mr Howley made us sing 2 hymns at every assembly. At theological college I remember someone planning a service with “colours of day” in it. I nearly died laughing all the way through! It was like being back at school!
Comment by Robb — December 31, 2007 @ 5:30 pm
Carole,
I love the Lord of the Dance!
Sas
Happy New Year’s Eve/ St Sylvester everyone.
Sas x
Comment by sarah — December 31, 2007 @ 8:41 pm
Sorry Sas! I guess we can’t all like the same things!
Hope 2008 is a great one for you.
Comment by Carole — January 1, 2008 @ 1:35 am
You too Carole.
Sarah x
Comment by sarah — January 1, 2008 @ 2:11 am
Funny stories Carole.
My friend’s little girl used to think God’s first name was Ray because of the song “our God Ray”…(reigns).
Still makes me smile
Comment by Laura — January 1, 2008 @ 9:46 pm
what about ‘gladly’ the cross eyed bear.
Comment by jonbirch — January 1, 2008 @ 11:28 pm
Jon- Uhh?!
Explain do!
Sas
Comment by sarah — January 4, 2008 @ 12:50 am
the song.. gladly the cross i’d bare… sounds like ‘gladly’ the cross eyed bear. get it?
Comment by jonbirch — January 4, 2008 @ 1:10 am
what about… our father who art in heaven, ‘harold’ be thy name… these are both mis hearings from my own family members…. so i’m told.
Comment by jonbirch — January 4, 2008 @ 1:11 am
Oh I wish you hadn’t told me that…I will have real problems now…
Comment by Carole — January 4, 2008 @ 11:38 am
Comment by jonbirch — January 4, 2008 @ 11:54 am
Dunno the song mate. Still v. funny.
Sas x
Comment by sarah — January 6, 2008 @ 1:35 am
kewl
Comment by bariga — January 11, 2008 @ 8:53 am
#14 “Colours of day” is a great song for a funeral, especially a cremation, with the words, “So light up the fire and let the flame burn…”
What about the Marks and Spencer song (i.e. “As the deer…”
which mentions dear pants (as sold by M and S!).
Ax
Comment by AnneDroid — February 3, 2008 @ 10:37 pm
My funeral songs? Paradise City by GN’R (as I dissapear behind the curtain) and Won’t you Come to my Funeral by the Crash Test Dummies.
Comment by Robb — February 4, 2008 @ 12:32 am