The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion: to bestow on them
a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
Well people look and people stare
Well I don’t think that I even care
You work your life away and what do they give?
You’re only killing yourself to live
Killing yourself to live
Just take a look around you what do you see
Pain, suffering and misery
It’s not the way that the world was meant
It’s a pity you don’t understand
Killing yourself to live
I’m telling you
Believe in me
Nobody else will tell you
Open your eyes
And see the lies, oh yeah
You think I’m crazy and baby
I know that it’s true
Before that you know it I think
That you’ll go crazy too
I don’t know if I’m up or down
Whether black is white or blue is brown
The colors of my life are all different somehow
Little boy blue’s a big girl now
So you think it’s me who’s strange
But you’ve never had to make the change
Never give your trust away
You’ll end up paying till your dying day
I think that the spam filter must have caught my post. How annoying. I’ll try again:
Well people look and people stare well I don’t think that I even care
You work your life away and what do they give?
You’re only killing yourself to live
Killing yourself to live
Just take a look around you what do you see
Pain, suffering and misery
It’s not the way that the world was meant
It’s a pity you don’t understand
Killing yourself to live
I’m telling you
Believe in me
Nobody else will tell you
Open your eyes
And see the lies, oh yeah
You think I’m crazy and baby
I know that it’s true
Before that you know it I think
That you’ll go crazy too
I don’t know if I’m up or down
Whether black is white or blue is brown
The colors of my life are all different somehow
Little boy blue’s a big girl now
So you think it’s me who’s strange
But you’ve never had to make the change
Never give your trust away
You’ll end up paying till your dying day
Well people look and people stare
Well I don’t think that I even care
You work your life away and what do they give?
You’re only killing yourself to live
Killing yourself to live
Just take a look around you what do you see
Pain, suffering and misery
It’s not the way that the world was meant
It’s a pity you don’t understand
Killing yourself to live
I know what that’s like! The contrast of fearing death, feeling not good enough in the eyes of God so you get down about that which stops you actually getting out and doing God’s work which will make him pleased with you… of course there are so many individual reasons that have this same result.
Ecclesiastes 11:9 Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
God will bring you to judgment.
10 So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless.
Ecclesiastes 12
1 Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
“I find no pleasure in them”-
this is one that is a bit close to the mark for me. (time to make myself a bit vulnerable)
Over a period of 12 years i had 12 friends or close family die. Started with my brother when i was 14 then the last was my dad 8 years ago.
Because of this experience i find that in times when i am low or down, i find myself withdrawing from my wife as a defense mechanism. I want to defend myself from the hurt of loss as the inevitability that my wife and children will die.
This can be crippling as you can imagine. Sadly i find no comfort in the bible when it says do not be anxious. Is this a lack of faith or comfort in my own grief? Too much learnt behavior?
we’re amazing, us humans. the capacity we have to protect ourselves is enormous. the problem is, this sets up patterns of behaviour… when the danger is gone, we still respond as though the threat were still there. that’s been a big one for me.
as we’re confessing… at one point, i couldn’t leave my chair, except for a wee wee break… couldn’t leave the house for months… couldn’t eat for months, except chocolate because it melted… i did myself a lot of damage but for a long time was unable to do anything about it. now i’m left with the remnants, similar to what will mentions above… so now, even a forty mile journey to greenbelt feels like a date with the grim reaper… the physical sense of dis-ease is almost unbearable. i still work to defeat it.
kirsty is right… our anxieties are as individual as we are.
maggi… i’ve seen that in other friends too. god bless those who find the strength to push on as you do. god bless those who can’t find the strength… some days i’m right there with them, other days i’m a lion.
I used to be like that ALL the time and now, just some of the time (which isn’t any good either). Not just fear of dying but fear of everything – looking like a fool, failing, making mistakes I couldn’t get out of. Now I’m scared about stepping out of line with what God wants and wondering if it’s just the same thing under a different guise. Thankfully ASBOers are what I was hoping christians would be and here at least I don’t have to be scared to be me.
yes, i’ve been there, to the point that getting up in the morning was definitely an act of bravery, i used to chant ‘this is the day that the lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’ under my breath before i put my feet on the floor.
but i can also genuinely say that the discipline of doing this meant that one day it became a truth from within rather than a truth from without, as it were. not to say that sometimes i don’t want to hide from the world – but i have to say i also had 15months of psychotherapy, it was the best thing i ever did.
Will, the bible itself cannot give comfort, so don’t be hard on yourself. Putting a wall around your heart is an understandable defense mechanism, one that no compassionate person is going to judge you for. You can’t tear it down, only God can, I know that personally — going through it right now. I am praying for you hon. Please don’t think of it as a lack of faith, because it really doesn’t come down to that. It comes down to a lack of peace, which is entirely different, and Jesus never rebuked anyone for having a lack of peace, especially under such heavy circumstances [HUG]
I’m not so much afraid of dying, but I am facing up to the fact that I am not happy and would admit to being fearful about growing old!?! And I am only 38 (don’t anyone tell that I’m old already!!!)
Fear not marcus!!! Being in your 40’s is a blast, don’t knock it till you try it. I’m looking forward to being 80 like my dad, who just says what he wants and (mis)behaves like a 6 year old; he embarrasses me constantly with his flaunting of all rules and doesn’t give a toss what people think of him.
Missed yesterdays blogs – I had to do some real world (not computer) stuff! great by the way. As a leader I often feel like Manure! Its hard when the flowers dictate to you how they want to grow as well – in my bizarre world this happens!
Anyway, back to today, I find that life is scary enough. I know for some folk especially the elderly and or very sick that an oblique of this is valid. That life is so scary that they look forward to the release of death. Not sure how I feel about the whole Euthanasia thing – never really given it any thought.
I sympathise with you Will, we have had a few deaths in the family recently, so much so that when we do ‘family time’ with our two kids they ask “who’s dead!” They never seem to remember the good announcements as the power of the hard ones seems more pervasive.
Will, just so sorry to hear how much you’ve been through, those experiences stay with us. Grief hurts on so many levels, and from so many vantage points. it is there in the background when we’re getting on with stuff.
Those things rock us, and yet I value knowing it’s human to feel, to care, to get overwhelmed, to brick it, to hurt, and God made us this way – just because it’s our capacity to relate and love that he’s invested in us. (he made us in his image)
“so now, even a forty mile journey to greenbelt feels like a date with the grim reaper… the physical sense of dis-ease is almost unbearable. i still work to defeat it.” – you did it though Jon,
Book plug – I love this book on understanding our human response to trauma, “Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma – The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences” by Peter Levine
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you
rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is
easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
Hello from the young lady with the aged eyes (pronounced age-ed, of course). You asked me to pop by Asbo Central. Have started on your back catalogue, but damn are you prolific!
I like this one, it appeals to me. That and the one with the female priest in suspenders… How are you, Mr Birch? Did you have a good birthday?
x
Comment by blue-eyed barmaid — September 3, 2008 @ 10:53 am
jf… hahahaha!
hey… blue-eyed-barmaid… great to have you here! checked out your cred on the thirdway website… you are indeed who you say you are!
i had a wonderfully enjoyable conversation at the jesus arms with you… rollins turned up a bit later, i hope you connected.
my birthday was low key and just dandy thank you. i lost my voice completely the day after i met you, but it was pretty much back by birthday… you know how i like my voice!
anyhow, stay in touch. enjoy the back catalogue and accept my apologies for the quality of early asbo’s.
jx
Tyler Dawn #9: that is a beautiful message. Especially the hug.
JF #12: be careful. You don’t want to give the impression that you want to die (or worse, that you want the world to come to an end) in order to get into heaven sooner. That isn’t a very healthy attitude to have!
Blue eyed Barmaid #19: here is a verse to complement your quote from Matthew: “Behold in me a couch: rest on me!”
It is from The Hymn of Jesus, which was performed by the choir at Greenbelt.
BTW, it was a choir practice which prevented me from attending Jon’s session at Greenbelt. Jon – I hope we have another opportunity to meet soon.
Yep.
And then there’s the inverse corollary, often tragic, “I’m so scared of living, I want to die.”
At some kind of community event 30+ years back my dad told of visiting with a coroner attending it who commented that what people died from wasn’t half so interesting as what their bodies were still living with!!!
That meaning our hearts, souls, and spririts, are likely just as able to cope and keep going, with various degrees of pain and loss.
The human will is an amazing thing – the “will” to “do” is strong enough that it may be the one and only thing with which people simply keep going on in life like an explorer pushing his way through deepest darkest jungle, vines slapping in his face and tangles of roots tripping his toes.
Will was saying about “do not be anxious”: those who have been taught to be self-critical to excess may find themselves saying “Great, did that wrong too, don’t be anxious, well, too late to get it right, already am anxious.”
Anyway, I choose to keep pushing. Maybe a bit off course on occasion But, hey, getting lost means you at least tried to go somewhere!
Back to “I’m so scared of dying that I’m afraid to live” – once heard someone respond to that with what sounded hard hearted: “Then you’re already dead.”
Maybe there are some people for whom such a jolt is what works to boost them out of it.
Other people such words would drive deeper down, entirely crush.
Looking at that from many years down the road, there is a truth in it. Biological entities are either living, or dead and decomposing: there is no middle ground.
But, I think that in matters of emotional, spiritual, and mental, health there is a “limbo”, of being neither alive nor dead.
To my mind it is a grey space where whichever of those is wounded waits for healing.
Hopes for healing.
I think the human’s ‘being’ WANTS to heal. Our bodies were created with active healing mechanisms.
Kathy had serious surgery 2 weeks back and we are watching her body heal itself – amazing. Elements of it are a tad gross, but nonetless amazing.
Spirit, mind, heart, want to heal too, but their healing seems to more often need assistance from outside ourselves to a greater degree than does the material body.
Their healing likely will have “icky bits” too along the way.
Still, it’s the same – stuff which needs to come out of the body comes out of open wounds as healing grows down inside behind it.
Sure, there will be scars, large or hardly noticable, but the body continues going. The heart continues going. The spirit continues going. The soul continues going.
And someday, there will be no scars – body, heart, soul, mind, spirit, will never face injury or trauma, ever, and forever.
I was mostly prompted by Dennis’ statement just before, but the more I think about it, the truer it seems.
Head down, don’t think about things too much, and get on with it anyway. Seems to work most of the time.
Forrest, I agree. I have healed from 8 years ago. when my dad died I kind of stopped and it had not only an impact on my like but messed the lives about of those around me. It was a very selfish time for me. i had been told not to let my mum and dad see that i was upset when my brother died when i was 14 and so this is what i did. I kept it all bottled up (This was how i thought kids grieved).
Then through all the other deaths i had to experience of other family and friends i showed nothing. I could not do this for my dad and my mind just stopped working.
Am i better now, of course, Not only can i get out of bed but i have to i have 2 fantastic kids with an amazing wife. If i look back to how i was months after my dad died i could not have seen that i would have been able to get out of bed at 4am for my little girl! The healing process is amazing.
I do have bits of of my life that are harder than they were before. But thats where Gods grace has been amazing. He stuck with me when i told him to pi§§ off and continued to love me.
I think I can relate to most of this in some way or another. I wanted to spend a day just reflecting on it. I don’t drive. I took lessons years back and failed two tests. I never really wanted to learn but felt society’s mockery of me if I didn’t. I failed the second at the time of a house move and there was no more cash in the kitty with a new mortgage. I privately saw this as welcome respite. About three years on, a friend who was learning about the same time as me and had passed her test lost control of her overloaded car, killing herself, her father and her brother. She left behind a little girl. That put the sh*ts up me, to coin a phrase. I know in my new career, to drive would be immensely useful. There is even a car sitting on our drive for me to use. But I continue to support an increasingly expensive and useless public transport system. I colour it with terms like, ‘reducing my carbon footprint’ and ’supporting a much needed public service’. I now know 4 people who are trained driving instructors – I feel as though they are ganging up on me…is it time to try again. Another thing – I can’t bear the interest people show. I hate the way they stop and watch as you pull away from the kerb outside your house. I hate them asking, “How’s the driving going?” I can be a very unreasonable and grumpy person, but it is born of genuine anxiety.
this is almost exactly where i end up when i think too much!
after gb i went through what people around me call ‘a funny turn’ and i call ‘awareness of reality’ but i’m over it now!
Might be true but there ain’t much I can do about it so i may as well live and love as much as i can.
that’s a good way forward allatsea… i have those times too… turns… weirdness… all invasive hyper-reality… living and loving seems always the best course of action… that and bad jokes!
And since we’re quoting song lyrics, and I know this is on the subject of finish lines, rather than the fear…
The Finish Line
Once upon an average morn
An average boy was born
For the second time
Prone upon the altar there
He whispered up the prayer
He’d kept hid inside
The vision came, he saw the odds
A hundred little gods
On a gilded wheel
“These will vie to take your place,
But Father, by your grace
I will never kneel”
And I saw you, upright and proud
And I saw you wave to the crowd
And I saw you laughing out loud
At the Philistines
And I saw you brush away rocks
And I saw you pull up your socks
And I saw you out of the blocks
For the finish line
Darkness falls, the devil stirs
And as your vision blurs
You start stumbling
The heart is weak, the will is gone
And every strong conviction
Comes tumbling down
Malice rains, the acid guile
Is sucking at your shoes
While the mud is fresh
It floods the trail, it bleeds you dry
As every little god
Buys its pound of flesh
And I saw you licking your wounds
And I saw you weave your cocoons
And I saw you changing your tunes
For the party line
And I saw you welsh on old debts
I saw you and your comrades bum cigarettes
And you hemmed and you hawed and you hedged all your bets
Waiting for a sign
Let’s wash our hands
As we throw little fits
Let’s all wash our hands
As we curse hypocrites
We’re locked in the washroom
Turning old tricks
Deaf and joyless
And full of it
The vision came, he saw the odds
A hundred little gods
On a gilded wheel
“These have tried to take your place,
But Father, by your grace
I will never kneel
I will never kneel”
Off in the distance, bloodied but wise
As you squint with the light
Of the truth in your eyes
And I saw you, both hands were raised
And I saw your lips move in praise
And I saw you steady your gaze
For the finish line
Every idol like dust
A word scattered them all
And I rose to my feet
When you scaled the last wall
And I gasped
When I saw you fall
In his arms
At the finish line
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion: to bestow on them
a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
Comment by Linus — September 2, 2008 @ 10:50 pm
Well people look and people stare
Well I don’t think that I even care
You work your life away and what do they give?
You’re only killing yourself to live
Killing yourself to live
Just take a look around you what do you see
Pain, suffering and misery
It’s not the way that the world was meant
It’s a pity you don’t understand
Killing yourself to live
I’m telling you
Believe in me
Nobody else will tell you
Open your eyes
And see the lies, oh yeah
You think I’m crazy and baby
I know that it’s true
Before that you know it I think
That you’ll go crazy too
I don’t know if I’m up or down
Whether black is white or blue is brown
The colors of my life are all different somehow
Little boy blue’s a big girl now
So you think it’s me who’s strange
But you’ve never had to make the change
Never give your trust away
You’ll end up paying till your dying day
c/o Ozzy, Geezer, Tony and Bill
Comment by Robb — September 2, 2008 @ 11:12 pm
I think that the spam filter must have caught my post. How annoying. I’ll try again:
Well people look and people stare well I don’t think that I even care
You work your life away and what do they give?
You’re only killing yourself to live
Killing yourself to live
Just take a look around you what do you see
Pain, suffering and misery
It’s not the way that the world was meant
It’s a pity you don’t understand
Killing yourself to live
I’m telling you
Believe in me
Nobody else will tell you
Open your eyes
And see the lies, oh yeah
You think I’m crazy and baby
I know that it’s true
Before that you know it I think
That you’ll go crazy too
I don’t know if I’m up or down
Whether black is white or blue is brown
The colors of my life are all different somehow
Little boy blue’s a big girl now
So you think it’s me who’s strange
But you’ve never had to make the change
Never give your trust away
You’ll end up paying till your dying day
c/o Ozzy, Geezer, Toni and Bill
Comment by Robb — September 2, 2008 @ 11:14 pm
OK, lets try a last time
Well people look and people stare
Well I don’t think that I even care
You work your life away and what do they give?
You’re only killing yourself to live
Killing yourself to live
Just take a look around you what do you see
Pain, suffering and misery
It’s not the way that the world was meant
It’s a pity you don’t understand
Killing yourself to live
Care of Ozzy, Geezer, Tony and Bill
Comment by Robb — September 2, 2008 @ 11:16 pm
OKm I have tried posting 3 times now and nothing is coming up. Try looking at this link.
Comment by Robb — September 2, 2008 @ 11:17 pm
I know what that’s like! The contrast of fearing death, feeling not good enough in the eyes of God so you get down about that which stops you actually getting out and doing God’s work which will make him pleased with you… of course there are so many individual reasons that have this same result.
Comment by Kirsty — September 3, 2008 @ 12:37 am
or, so afraid of failing I can’t do anything at all? (been there!)
Comment by maggi — September 3, 2008 @ 1:57 am
Ecclesiastes 11:9 Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
God will bring you to judgment.
10 So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless.
Ecclesiastes 12
1 Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
“I find no pleasure in them”-
Comment by chaino — September 3, 2008 @ 2:31 am
this is one that is a bit close to the mark for me. (time to make myself a bit vulnerable)
Over a period of 12 years i had 12 friends or close family die. Started with my brother when i was 14 then the last was my dad 8 years ago.
Because of this experience i find that in times when i am low or down, i find myself withdrawing from my wife as a defense mechanism. I want to defend myself from the hurt of loss as the inevitability that my wife and children will die.
This can be crippling as you can imagine. Sadly i find no comfort in the bible when it says do not be anxious. Is this a lack of faith or comfort in my own grief? Too much learnt behavior?
Comment by Will — September 3, 2008 @ 5:02 am
we’re amazing, us humans. the capacity we have to protect ourselves is enormous. the problem is, this sets up patterns of behaviour… when the danger is gone, we still respond as though the threat were still there. that’s been a big one for me.
as we’re confessing… at one point, i couldn’t leave my chair, except for a wee wee break… couldn’t leave the house for months… couldn’t eat for months, except chocolate because it melted… i did myself a lot of damage but for a long time was unable to do anything about it. now i’m left with the remnants, similar to what will mentions above… so now, even a forty mile journey to greenbelt feels like a date with the grim reaper… the physical sense of dis-ease is almost unbearable. i still work to defeat it.
kirsty is right… our anxieties are as individual as we are.
maggi… i’ve seen that in other friends too. god bless those who find the strength to push on as you do. god bless those who can’t find the strength… some days i’m right there with them, other days i’m a lion.
Comment by jonbirch — September 3, 2008 @ 7:46 am
I used to be like that ALL the time and now, just some of the time (which isn’t any good either). Not just fear of dying but fear of everything – looking like a fool, failing, making mistakes I couldn’t get out of. Now I’m scared about stepping out of line with what God wants and wondering if it’s just the same thing under a different guise. Thankfully ASBOers are what I was hoping christians would be and here at least I don’t have to be scared to be me.
Comment by botticelliwoman — September 3, 2008 @ 7:55 am
yes, i’ve been there, to the point that getting up in the morning was definitely an act of bravery, i used to chant ‘this is the day that the lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’ under my breath before i put my feet on the floor.
but i can also genuinely say that the discipline of doing this meant that one day it became a truth from within rather than a truth from without, as it were. not to say that sometimes i don’t want to hide from the world – but i have to say i also had 15months of psychotherapy, it was the best thing i ever did.
Comment by jody — September 3, 2008 @ 7:57 am
Will, the bible itself cannot give comfort, so don’t be hard on yourself. Putting a wall around your heart is an understandable defense mechanism, one that no compassionate person is going to judge you for. You can’t tear it down, only God can, I know that personally — going through it right now. I am praying for you hon. Please don’t think of it as a lack of faith, because it really doesn’t come down to that. It comes down to a lack of peace, which is entirely different, and Jesus never rebuked anyone for having a lack of peace, especially under such heavy circumstances [HUG]
Comment by Tyler Dawn — September 3, 2008 @ 8:06 am
I’m not so much afraid of dying, but I am facing up to the fact that I am not happy and would admit to being fearful about growing old!?! And I am only 38 (don’t anyone tell that I’m old already!!!)
Comment by marcus — September 3, 2008 @ 8:33 am
Fear not marcus!!! Being in your 40’s is a blast, don’t knock it till you try it. I’m looking forward to being 80 like my dad, who just says what he wants and (mis)behaves like a 6 year old; he embarrasses me constantly with his flaunting of all rules and doesn’t give a toss what people think of him.
Comment by botticelliwoman — September 3, 2008 @ 8:58 am
Considering the heaven described in the bible, it’s amazing what a bunch of death-dodgers Christians are!
Comment by JF — September 3, 2008 @ 9:19 am
[With apologies for attempted levity on a serious topic!]
Comment by JF — September 3, 2008 @ 9:20 am
Missed yesterdays blogs – I had to do some real world (not computer) stuff! great by the way. As a leader I often feel like Manure! Its hard when the flowers dictate to you how they want to grow as well – in my bizarre world this happens!
Anyway, back to today, I find that life is scary enough. I know for some folk especially the elderly and or very sick that an oblique of this is valid. That life is so scary that they look forward to the release of death. Not sure how I feel about the whole Euthanasia thing – never really given it any thought.
I sympathise with you Will, we have had a few deaths in the family recently, so much so that when we do ‘family time’ with our two kids they ask “who’s dead!” They never seem to remember the good announcements as the power of the hard ones seems more pervasive.
Comment by drewman — September 3, 2008 @ 9:27 am
Will, just so sorry to hear how much you’ve been through, those experiences stay with us. Grief hurts on so many levels, and from so many vantage points. it is there in the background when we’re getting on with stuff.
Those things rock us, and yet I value knowing it’s human to feel, to care, to get overwhelmed, to brick it, to hurt, and God made us this way – just because it’s our capacity to relate and love that he’s invested in us. (he made us in his image)
Comment by subo — September 3, 2008 @ 9:27 am
You go for it ‘ JF’, levity in the face of a difficult thing is one of the forgotten spiritual gifts!
Comment by drewman — September 3, 2008 @ 9:29 am
“so now, even a forty mile journey to greenbelt feels like a date with the grim reaper… the physical sense of dis-ease is almost unbearable. i still work to defeat it.” – you did it though Jon,
Comment by subo — September 3, 2008 @ 9:32 am
Book plug – I love this book on understanding our human response to trauma, “Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma – The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences” by Peter Levine
Comment by subo — September 3, 2008 @ 9:37 am
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you
rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is
easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
Hello from the young lady with the aged eyes (pronounced age-ed, of course). You asked me to pop by Asbo Central. Have started on your back catalogue, but damn are you prolific!
I like this one, it appeals to me. That and the one with the female priest in suspenders… How are you, Mr Birch? Did you have a good birthday?
x
Comment by blue-eyed barmaid — September 3, 2008 @ 10:53 am
jf… hahahaha!
hey… blue-eyed-barmaid… great to have you here!
checked out your cred on the thirdway website… you are indeed who you say you are! 
i had a wonderfully enjoyable conversation at the jesus arms with you… rollins turned up a bit later, i hope you connected.
my birthday was low key and just dandy thank you. i lost my voice completely the day after i met you, but it was pretty much back by birthday… you know how i like my voice!
anyhow, stay in touch. enjoy the back catalogue and accept my apologies for the quality of early asbo’s.
jx
Comment by jonbirch — September 3, 2008 @ 11:16 am
Tyler Dawn #9: that is a beautiful message. Especially the hug.
JF #12: be careful. You don’t want to give the impression that you want to die (or worse, that you want the world to come to an end) in order to get into heaven sooner. That isn’t a very healthy attitude to have!
Blue eyed Barmaid #19: here is a verse to complement your quote from Matthew: “Behold in me a couch: rest on me!”
It is from The Hymn of Jesus, which was performed by the choir at Greenbelt.
BTW, it was a choir practice which prevented me from attending Jon’s session at Greenbelt. Jon – I hope we have another opportunity to meet soon.
Comment by rebecca — September 3, 2008 @ 12:23 pm
Death scares the Life out of me.
Comment by dennis — September 3, 2008 @ 12:57 pm
Life scares me to death.
Comment by Timbo — September 3, 2008 @ 1:57 pm
Yep.
And then there’s the inverse corollary, often tragic, “I’m so scared of living, I want to die.”
At some kind of community event 30+ years back my dad told of visiting with a coroner attending it who commented that what people died from wasn’t half so interesting as what their bodies were still living with!!!
That meaning our hearts, souls, and spririts, are likely just as able to cope and keep going, with various degrees of pain and loss.
The human will is an amazing thing – the “will” to “do” is strong enough that it may be the one and only thing with which people simply keep going on in life like an explorer pushing his way through deepest darkest jungle, vines slapping in his face and tangles of roots tripping his toes.
Will was saying about “do not be anxious”: those who have been taught to be self-critical to excess may find themselves saying “Great, did that wrong too, don’t be anxious, well, too late to get it right, already am anxious.”
Anyway, I choose to keep pushing. Maybe a bit off course on occasion
But, hey, getting lost means you at least tried to go somewhere!
Comment by Forrest — September 3, 2008 @ 2:29 pm
beautiful comment forrest.
look forward to meeting you rebecca.
plough on timbo…
Comment by jonbirch — September 3, 2008 @ 2:32 pm
Ah, Timbo, same thought you just earlier put up!
Back to “I’m so scared of dying that I’m afraid to live” – once heard someone respond to that with what sounded hard hearted: “Then you’re already dead.”
Maybe there are some people for whom such a jolt is what works to boost them out of it.
Other people such words would drive deeper down, entirely crush.
Looking at that from many years down the road, there is a truth in it. Biological entities are either living, or dead and decomposing: there is no middle ground.
But, I think that in matters of emotional, spiritual, and mental, health there is a “limbo”, of being neither alive nor dead.
To my mind it is a grey space where whichever of those is wounded waits for healing.
Hopes for healing.
I think the human’s ‘being’ WANTS to heal. Our bodies were created with active healing mechanisms.
Kathy had serious surgery 2 weeks back and we are watching her body heal itself – amazing. Elements of it are a tad gross, but nonetless amazing.
Spirit, mind, heart, want to heal too, but their healing seems to more often need assistance from outside ourselves to a greater degree than does the material body.
Their healing likely will have “icky bits” too along the way.
Still, it’s the same – stuff which needs to come out of the body comes out of open wounds as healing grows down inside behind it.
Sure, there will be scars, large or hardly noticable, but the body continues going. The heart continues going. The spirit continues going. The soul continues going.
And someday, there will be no scars – body, heart, soul, mind, spirit, will never face injury or trauma, ever, and forever.
Comment by Forrest — September 3, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
It’s not that I’m afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens
Woody Allen
Comment by Chris F — September 3, 2008 @ 7:50 pm
Thanks Jon and Forrest.
I was mostly prompted by Dennis’ statement just before, but the more I think about it, the truer it seems.
Head down, don’t think about things too much, and get on with it anyway. Seems to work most of the time.
Comment by Timbo — September 3, 2008 @ 10:43 pm
So timbo, are you looking for the ribon at the end or the race?
Comment by Robb — September 3, 2008 @ 10:47 pm
Forrest, I agree. I have healed from 8 years ago. when my dad died I kind of stopped and it had not only an impact on my like but messed the lives about of those around me. It was a very selfish time for me. i had been told not to let my mum and dad see that i was upset when my brother died when i was 14 and so this is what i did. I kept it all bottled up (This was how i thought kids grieved).
Then through all the other deaths i had to experience of other family and friends i showed nothing. I could not do this for my dad and my mind just stopped working.
Am i better now, of course, Not only can i get out of bed but i have to i have 2 fantastic kids with an amazing wife. If i look back to how i was months after my dad died i could not have seen that i would have been able to get out of bed at 4am for my little girl! The healing process is amazing.
I do have bits of of my life that are harder than they were before. But thats where Gods grace has been amazing. He stuck with me when i told him to pi§§ off and continued to love me.
I love Jon’s next cartoon: http://asbojesus.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/543
Even in the darkest time i can look back and know that the light was there.
Comment by Will — September 4, 2008 @ 5:27 am
By the way, thanks Jon for giving space for this.
Comment by Will — September 4, 2008 @ 5:28 am
I think I can relate to most of this in some way or another. I wanted to spend a day just reflecting on it. I don’t drive. I took lessons years back and failed two tests. I never really wanted to learn but felt society’s mockery of me if I didn’t. I failed the second at the time of a house move and there was no more cash in the kitty with a new mortgage. I privately saw this as welcome respite. About three years on, a friend who was learning about the same time as me and had passed her test lost control of her overloaded car, killing herself, her father and her brother. She left behind a little girl. That put the sh*ts up me, to coin a phrase. I know in my new career, to drive would be immensely useful. There is even a car sitting on our drive for me to use. But I continue to support an increasingly expensive and useless public transport system. I colour it with terms like, ‘reducing my carbon footprint’ and ’supporting a much needed public service’. I now know 4 people who are trained driving instructors – I feel as though they are ganging up on me…is it time to try again. Another thing – I can’t bear the interest people show. I hate the way they stop and watch as you pull away from the kerb outside your house. I hate them asking, “How’s the driving going?” I can be a very unreasonable and grumpy person, but it is born of genuine anxiety.
Comment by Carole — September 4, 2008 @ 10:32 am
Hmmmm
Reminds me of Ol Man River from ShowBoat….
Ah gits weary
An’ sick of tryin’
Ah’m tired of livin’
An’ skeered of dyin’,
or anglisised…
‘I get weary, and sick of trying,
I’m tired of living, but scared of dying’
Not entirely the same sentiment, but doubtlessly as commonly felt.
the Fool
Comment by Online Fool — September 4, 2008 @ 12:04 pm
i love ‘ol’ man river’… it moves me.
Comment by jonbirch — September 5, 2008 @ 11:37 am
this is almost exactly where i end up when i think too much!
after gb i went through what people around me call ‘a funny turn’ and i call ‘awareness of reality’ but i’m over it now!
Might be true but there ain’t much I can do about it so i may as well live and love as much as i can.
Comment by allatseawithabucketandspade — September 6, 2008 @ 12:02 am
that’s a good way forward allatsea… i have those times too… turns… weirdness… all invasive hyper-reality… living and loving seems always the best course of action… that and bad jokes!
Comment by jonbirch — September 6, 2008 @ 12:07 am
[...] This could be one of the best cartoons ASBO Jesus has ever done. Nice. [...]
Pingback by Interesting Stuff « Missio Dei — September 6, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
Yes, Robb. I’m all about the ribbons.
And since we’re quoting song lyrics, and I know this is on the subject of finish lines, rather than the fear…
The Finish Line
Once upon an average morn
An average boy was born
For the second time
Prone upon the altar there
He whispered up the prayer
He’d kept hid inside
The vision came, he saw the odds
A hundred little gods
On a gilded wheel
“These will vie to take your place,
But Father, by your grace
I will never kneel”
And I saw you, upright and proud
And I saw you wave to the crowd
And I saw you laughing out loud
At the Philistines
And I saw you brush away rocks
And I saw you pull up your socks
And I saw you out of the blocks
For the finish line
Darkness falls, the devil stirs
And as your vision blurs
You start stumbling
The heart is weak, the will is gone
And every strong conviction
Comes tumbling down
Malice rains, the acid guile
Is sucking at your shoes
While the mud is fresh
It floods the trail, it bleeds you dry
As every little god
Buys its pound of flesh
And I saw you licking your wounds
And I saw you weave your cocoons
And I saw you changing your tunes
For the party line
And I saw you welsh on old debts
I saw you and your comrades bum cigarettes
And you hemmed and you hawed and you hedged all your bets
Waiting for a sign
Let’s wash our hands
As we throw little fits
Let’s all wash our hands
As we curse hypocrites
We’re locked in the washroom
Turning old tricks
Deaf and joyless
And full of it
The vision came, he saw the odds
A hundred little gods
On a gilded wheel
“These have tried to take your place,
But Father, by your grace
I will never kneel
I will never kneel”
Off in the distance, bloodied but wise
As you squint with the light
Of the truth in your eyes
And I saw you, both hands were raised
And I saw your lips move in praise
And I saw you steady your gaze
For the finish line
Every idol like dust
A word scattered them all
And I rose to my feet
When you scaled the last wall
And I gasped
When I saw you fall
In his arms
At the finish line
Comment by Timbo — September 8, 2008 @ 1:44 pm