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Yes I’ve that before in my family.
Yep. She gets it.
My husband gets it.
oh wow. thats just really special
it also feels like a symbol of what church can be like, my church
spends Jan seeking God, and just waiting to hear from him, – then
in Feb it slots straight back into being a male orientated, male led,
male centred organisation
i lost it on sun, i just walked out, what a painful place we’ve made church into, without an openness to each other, or an ability to listen to each other, or even a sense of trying to show some real care, and show your trying to listen
Adrian Plass did a great story on that one time. He was so busy repairing things in other peoples’ houses as his “ministry” his own house was falling in! I see this cartoon however as a symbol of the difficulty ministers have between getting their family life and wiork life balanced. It is very easy to be so engrossed in work that you forget what your wife/husband is trying to do keeping the family together.
Absolutely SPOT on!
subo sorry to hear that.
cheers Dennis
that is brilliant.
subo
Jon – I wish I could use this cartoon in my PhD – one picture is worth a 1000 words eh
Actually it would be rather wonderful if one could do complete essays/theses in cartoons sometimes
Haha. I’m not married (I’m 17!) but being married is something God either calls you to, or doesn’t. It’s just as vital a calling as being called to your job in the sandwich shop, the church, or the office. The Bible says we should do whatever we’re doing with all our hearts, and so I think this applies to marriage too (obviously). It’s all too easy to see marriage as a bolt-on to life nowerdays. In reality, marriage is a purpose, not a sideways pleasure.
many years ago when exploring a call to ordination a wise guy pointed out that my first call was to my wife….
When i was a kid, my mom used to drive me crazy with this one, i’d be off out to play in the worship band or to go to a prayer meeting or something. It used to do my head in when she said about serving round the home being as important.
At the time i think it was honestly just bing young and bad at doing house work and having a genuine passion for God and serving in church. What it taught me though especially as I grew up was how to identify that abilty to mask selfish motives in holy apperance, that when i was more eager to be out seen to be serving God but not bothered about caring for my wife, family, freinds and home it was craving appearance only and nothing holy
thanks mum
I’m a vicars kid, yeah i hate saying that, but it has taught me that God doesn’t call a person in isolation, how it annoyed me in my younger years that people would pray for dad and not mum, talk about getting a new vicar and forget his kids in their welcome… i won’t go on, but in naughtly moments i ask people to name their minister or vicar starting with the youngest in his/her family!
I think fiorst call is to God, then wife/family, then world, then church – in that order.
Problem is we often mix our calling to God with a calling to serve the church. They’re not the same.
Peter Scazzerro (sp?) wrote a really good book called “Emotionally healthy spirituality” after his wife left his church….
I like that, Kate (13).
And Robb (11), your friend was so right. Thanks!
Here’s a quick test.
You take vows to God and each other to be together.
You start saying things like “God is calling me to X and it is breaking up my marriage but God is more important so that is tough”.
I suspect that at this point you may be kidding yourself. The point where people start suggesting that God is ripping their marriage apart and that it is a necessary thing to do… needs to reevaluate their view of God.
Steve – cross posted.
I need to keep reminding myself of this all the time. I wish it was as easy as it sounds!
I’m not sure what that means though Jonathon? What does a ‘call to God’ actually encompass? How is it played out through this sort of hierarchy? If you had set aside some time specifically for prayer and bible study and then your wife said she needed to have an urgent talk to you about something – which would you opt to do? This is a scenario I recall being ‘shared with me’ when I was at uni – ok it didn’t involve husband and wife but two friends – it was told as an example of how someone had their priorities right because they wouldn’t let anything interupt their ‘time with God’.
(14) is incorrect.
Our priorities in life should be family, church, friends.
For a true christian, God is not a priority in life, He is life itself.
So no, there is no way whatsoever you can justify neglecting your family.
I sorta agree with 19 but Im gonna go
Family
Friends
(Gadgets)
Church
Pingback: Husbands, love your wives : Sic et Non
I think this is equally applicable to all Christians, not just the pastor types. Even the rest of us mere mortals can get the balance wrong. Like any other interest – just as you can get golf/football/shopping/work widow/ers you can get church widow/ers.
Trouble is, so many people are quite good at the family stuff (even pagans
), nobody would notice us if we gave that priority. If we ‘sacrifice’ the family time for the greater community, we might be seen as being more ‘holy’.
So true. Serving God begins with serving others… your wife and kids first of all.
i love your warm comments, yep – i think we practice our love for God, by responding to the people around us
and, also. have felt inspired by a few people’s demonstration of their commitment to their partner,
i.e. I heard a vicar, in his new year preach, mention talking a walk with his wife and dedicating the new year to God, together
also some of the folk at my church are talking about making a mission statement for their family (as a family project)
hmm I suspect that the priority order actually goes something like this:
1) things we enjoy doing/things we’ve got to do
2) career (if we’re fortunate or cursed enough to have one)
3) things we enjoy doing/things we’ve got to do
4) mates/friends (including wife/husband/partner on a good day)
5)things we enjoy doing/things we’ve got to do
6) nice folk at church, who are like us, and who will really appreciate us helping them
7) things we enjoy doing/things we’ve got to do
?) children… acually this is tricky, they can come anywhere
between 1st and 81st, depending on a series of factors such as:
a) are we feeling guilty
b) are they willing to do something we would enjoy doing
c) are they feeling poorly
d) are they feeling loving and appreciative
8) married couples at church
9) things we’ve got to do/things we like doing (just to surprise you!)
10) things that the minister/vicar/pastor asks us to do that will reflect well on us.
11) things that we’ve got to do (when asked by minister/etc. that won’t get noticed
12) folks outside the church who still remember us
13) no 13th priority, a bit unlucky
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93) that single person in church who we couldn’t avoid last week.
rats, there I go feeling sarky and I go and forget that an 8 followed by a ) makes a 8)
slightly spoils the effect really doesn’t it!
I think you should do one of a vicar saying that about him or herself! We hear about family of ministers suffering, but how many ministers suffer from burnout because they’ve forgotten to look after themselves?
Did anyone hear Thought for the Day this morning? Ann Atkins talking about children and the importance of love and affection.
She also said how important it is for children to have 2 people who love each other and want to be with each other forever.
although i’m not sure if she said “and” or “enough to”… that’s a tricky bit of semantics
This cartoon reminds me of this post, an extract from an interview with Eugene Peterson at inward/outward (another thought-provoking blog which I highly recommend, btw).
Wouldn’t Christianity be a lot easier if we could serve God with our selfishness?
“Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, because there is no hope of a cure.” (Jane Austen, Manfield Park)
hey claire… at last, a little culture on the blog!
i really must get around to reading her one day.
jane austen… i mentioned some months ago that i used to live in the house jane austen lived in when she was in bath. if you’re a fan of jane austen i expect you to be impressed by that.
a link to someone’s photo of mine and jane’s old residence…
Jon – OMG OMG OMG! I did a bus tour when I was in Bath and they pointed out that house to us!
I do really enjoy Jane Austen but strangely I haven’t read all of them, and there are only six full novels, IIRC. Someday I’ll get around to Northanger Abbey and Sense and Sensibility.
cheers for the Ann Atkins link
here’s a couple of Bristol web sites, of organisations set up by Christians to offer support and services to the community. I think some of their resources are available to use in groups around the uk.
http://www.letssticktogether.co.uk/
http://www.bcft.co.uk/index.html
Culture? Isn’t that what grows in a petri dish?
Pat (18) I think of these things in terms of relationship rather than duty.
I do think that the most important relationship to get right and keep right is the relationship with God.
Let me use family as an example. In our house, becuase of the strange hours i am called on to work, we have some protected time in the early eveing for dinner, bath and bedtime routines with the children, and my wife try and have an evening a week where nothing else is happening and we can relax together.
These things change by prior agreement, or in the case of emergencies (my wife understands that if i need to be at someone’s bedside whilst they die i might not make it home for dinner)
These things aren;t reduced to rules and duties. The relationships have ebbs and flows, give and take.
So it is with God, i have protected time to concentrate on that relationship, but it’s made up more of shorter, more regular interactions, as we converse about the things happening around me and in me, and as I deal with the impact the decisions i make have on that relationship.
So, i think it’s unhelpful to think in terms of time (first hour to God, then 45 mins for wife, 40 for the kids, then half an hour to the world, fifteen mins for church). It’s not that neat, it’s a balance of relationships.
And yes, if i knew something was really weighing on my conscience and I needed to sort it out with God, then something with my family might give whilst that is done, likewise my ministry to the world, or the local church I serve might have to take a backseat to a family issue that raises its head.
Does that make sense?
Jonathan – thanks for the expansion and yes, I see where you’re coming from. I’m afraid your comment @14 just reminded me of a particular vignette which disturbed me at the time and still does so now; and it made me wonder what exactly we mean with some of these statements we make about the ‘call’ of God, or about the necessity of ‘putting God first’
I’m completely with you on the ebb and flow/give and take dynamic in this – just so long as your protected time with God also takes a backseat if family circumstances demand it
This point has probably been made already, but I’ll throw it in anyway.
I read once (can’t remember where) that our first priority is God, and our second priority is our family. Anything else, such as church, friends or work, should be treated as a lower priority.
The trouble is, is it meaningful to talk about your commitment to God in total isolation from anything else?
BTW, rockingrev (#5) mentions Adrian Plass, and that story was the first thing I thought of what I saw the cartoon as well. It’s from the book “The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass”. If you want to know how NOT to behave as a Christian, you can get a good idea from that book!
Reminded me of the good old (and banned) John Lennon song “Woman is the nigger of the world”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P91_H690z4
It’s not just a christian thing but it’s especially troubling when christians find excuses for ignoring their loved ones. Oh, not sure if someone already mentioned it but it also reminds me of what Jesus said: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2015:3-6;&version=31;
Rebecca – that was my reaction when a friend posted this article of facebook.
Without “the activities” the community doesn’t happen. Each person becomes an island focussed upon God. This is not the christian faith. We don’t just commune with God, we commune with each other and God. Without the community there is no communion!
‘we commune with each other and God’, like it Robb, and the petri dish
was it the sheep or the goats, Jesus thanked for the prison visits?
“the archbishop of indecision, inaction and condemnation”
(The Archbishop has called for churches to focus less on activities and more on contemplation)
actually, i like a bit of contemplation, its a good place to pray for blessing on all those church activities
Okay then Archbiship, we’ll take heed of your call and focus this week on contemplating next week’s activity!
I find the activities issue tricky. (I am assuming that the archbishop is talking about inward-focussed church activities, and not outreach/mission, which most churches could stand to do more of!) The trouble is that people have such different needs. There’s a man at my church who repeatedly asks us “why doesn’t the church have more social events?” He harks back to a time when local churches held dances on Saturday nights, and there was always something to do. The trouble is that most of us have work/study/family, and the leadership of the church are being run ragged just trying to keep the normal functions of the church going. I guess what I mean is, it would be nice for church to be an entire social life for disconnected and lonely people, but this falls heavily on people who already have full lives, especially if there’s a sense of obligation about having to support the activities the church is running.
Either God is present all the time or He’s not really real. So a big thing is to seek God’s presence in whatever it is I’m currently doing.
That’s not to say there’s no place for seeking God in the “be still and know” sense. Its just saying that God doesn’t cease to exist the rest of the time. So at any time, in any circumstance, we can ask things like: What does God think about this? how can i seek him in this situation? How can I honour him and acknowledge him in this relationship or activity.
That’s the aim anyhow. Maybe that’s what the ole Rowan bear is gettin at: that when it becomes about being busy rather than being in relationship w God and each other… i only skimmed the article and haven’t heard the sermon so i’m probs wrong but anyhow.
Good to hear the top brass seem to have moved away from pram residing and the throwing of toys thereoutof at present tho.
‘We don’t just commune with God, we commune with each other and God.’ Yes; and the two coincide don’t they – communion with each other is a facet of communion with God.
Are we connected or socially disconnected…
I personally believe that technology has reduced our social capital—the relationships that bind people together and create a sense of community. Consequences include decreased civility, loss of behavioural boundaries and increased crime. We must find ways to deal with our profound loss of social connectedness.
Even though technological advances have contributed significantly to the problem of isolation, the emphasis on individualism in today’s society has compounded it
This is brilliant. Lots of truth in many of the comments also.
Lewis at Number 10 re the comment on marriage – oh, the idealism of youth!!
Putting God First means being a servent to all. In work, life, marriage, parenting everything.
http://www.beatthedrum.wordpress.com
Fantastic. : ) Thank you.