Blimey. I just blogged about this. I’m trying to work out what’s wrong with me… I don’t know if I’m right – I never know if I’m right. But I’m thinking I should make some painful decisions and cut some stuff that’s weighing me down.
Problem is that I probably won’t. Maybe such decisions are too painful for me.
I think everyone struggles with this. We try to take on more, and more because we think it’s what God wants us to do. To be busy is to be Godly… But there has to be a point where we step away and look at our life the way God does, and give the worries to Him. Let Him take over and let the crap fall away.
At least, that’s what I think we should do. Even though I struggle to do it myself.
I’ve discovered recently that I’m much nicer and more peaceful, and I think better to be around, when I give my self some time to be still. Trouble is I’ll find almost anything else to do first/instead!
Kim, I mis-read for a second there that you were reading a book by Bernard Manning. It seemed an incongruous title for any book he might have written
To me, this is what the one day of rest in 7 is about (doesn’t have to be Sunday), although I then go & tell myself “a change is as good as a rest” and end up doing just as much on the seventh day, just different stuff. I am as guilty as anyone of doing too much and am making plans right now to make sure I get more downtime in future.
Really interesting, and not too tangential, ideas in a book called ‘Multiplicity’, by Rita Carter. She suggests that most of us have more than one ’self’, hardwired by genes and experience into our brains. She presents convincing evidence for it. Might be a self with a martyrdom complex, and another wanting nothing more than to cut loose. Might be a worker self and a nice and peaceful self (6). And all are jostling for space in our tiny heads and hearts. She argues that given today’s ‘multi-mask’ society, more and more people are becoming more and more ‘multiple’, in order to cope – and this might not be a bad thing, especially if the alternative is getting squashed a la Jon’s cartoon. So my big question is, what does a monotheistic religion have to say about this? Jesus was probably multiple: healer, teacher, carpenter(?), party-goer, temple-rearranger, wilderness lover, son, big bruv.
Jesus wasn’t rushed. He only started his ministry at age 30 (although I’m sure that’s an oversimplificationand it’s a reasonable extrapolation that he pulled back from everything quite frequently to have some quiet time with God.
hehe the thought of a book by Bernard Manning being being discussed in this context is very good
subo – they were selling it in paperback at church as it was recommended, but when I just went on Amazon to order another they are still only in hardback there. Its the only one of his I’ve read and it took my breath away – I’ve ordered some others now. Hope you can protect yourself from the grim stuff at work
14. I have similar weights as well. I have to keep reminding myself that Jesus was God and hence, he didn’t let the crap that gets to me get to me.
Re: Money – I don’t know how to explain it but things have a way of turning out. I was freaking out re: how I was going to pay for business related trip I need to take to Poland and the UK this summer when I landed a speaking gig to talk about new forms of church in the US (Yes, doing serious plugs for Proost). I chose to accept what few gigs I get on faith (chicks get MUCH fewer opps than dudes). Here I’m taking Andrew Jones’ advice by not asking for a set fee but if folks ask about my fee, suggest that they pay what they can – noting that what I make from someone who can afford it will help me make connections with groups that are flat broke. This way I’m helping facilitate dialogues by helping people make connections instead of being a hired author/speaker paid to perform. It’s a change in attitude – I noticed that a number of folks doing grassroots work that I respect are developing a similar approach. As it happens, I am getting paid enough to cover this trip. Two people advanced me a bit of money so I could afford to travel until they give me the check (I’m on my way there now). This is for the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire (yes that diocese that started the fighting) and all this feels right. I am really trying to put more of my trust in God in this department and I’m starting to be at ease here but I’ve got a long ways to go before my anxieties over how I will pay for my bills will dissipate.
My problem is at times too much time to myself – as any writer, artist, musician can testify, a good chunk of this work happens when you’re alone. Balancing being alone without becoming engulfed by loneliness is a challenge – reading Merton helps a bit.
What I struggle with at times are the putdowns – I am used to people flinging arrows at satirists but over these past three years I’ve been hit with a lot of emergent arrows by people I “thought” were my friends. That’s been especially hard to deal with especially being accused falsely of libel and slander which for a female writer is about as bad as using the “c” word. (What I am guilty of is letting my anger get the better of me and being obnoxious but what I say is true even if the tone is unChristlike.) ASBO Jesus has been a great safe place where I can vent and know that while I might be crazy at times, I’m not insane.
Steve @8 I haven’t read the book so can’t really give a proper response at present. However I did look at the stuff on her website and I can’t say that I find it a particularly convincing thesis. I’d love to ask what the ‘convincing evidence’ is – but fear, after my contributions on the last 2 threads, that I might be in danger of stereotyping myself!
The book’s worth a read – the evidence I find convincing (by which I mean fair, not open and shut) is the mixture of case-studies, exercises, and the neuroscience of identity formation. It chimes with me on a cultural level, and personally, too.
But it’s radical and controversial, certainly!
Can I ask a genuine question, people? Does anyone know of anyone inside the Church who is grappling with the ideas neuroscience is raising? Because it can be really frustrating trying to wrestle with the implications for spirituality and theology in isolation. I can’t be the only person with a bookcase heaving with popular science books and a background in evangelical Christianity who finds the tensions creative rather than a threat.
Steve – I agree that current neuroscientific research is raising inportant questions about personhood which we need to adress.
Not sure what you mean by ‘in the church’; there are certainly people within the science/theology community who are grappling with these things. My own research involves transdisciplinary dialogue between theology and 2 different branches of neuroscience and, like you, I find that a creative and not a threatening place to be.
Blimey. I just blogged about this. I’m trying to work out what’s wrong with me… I don’t know if I’m right – I never know if I’m right. But I’m thinking I should make some painful decisions and cut some stuff that’s weighing me down.
Problem is that I probably won’t. Maybe such decisions are too painful for me.
Comment by herbeey — May 7, 2009 @ 12:09 am
I think everyone struggles with this. We try to take on more, and more because we think it’s what God wants us to do. To be busy is to be Godly… But there has to be a point where we step away and look at our life the way God does, and give the worries to Him. Let Him take over and let the crap fall away.
At least, that’s what I think we should do. Even though I struggle to do it myself.
Comment by Tamara — May 7, 2009 @ 12:38 am
I usually just hide away.
Comment by dennis — May 7, 2009 @ 6:52 am
I think a lot of people mistake being busy for being godly #2.
I suspect very often people use being busy with other things as a way of not dealing with other stuff that they don’t want to face up to.
Comment by Miriworm — May 7, 2009 @ 8:24 am
I’ve just ordered a book by Brennan Manning called something like ‘Contemplative Spirituality for Over Acheievers’, on this very subject.
Probably should just cut out the middle man and sit down quietly and listen tho, why do I need a book to tell me what I already know?!
Comment by Kim — May 7, 2009 @ 8:38 am
I’ve discovered recently that I’m much nicer and more peaceful, and I think better to be around, when I give my self some time to be still. Trouble is I’ll find almost anything else to do first/instead!
Comment by Sophie — May 7, 2009 @ 9:22 am
Kim, I mis-read for a second there that you were reading a book by Bernard Manning. It seemed an incongruous title for any book he might have written
To me, this is what the one day of rest in 7 is about (doesn’t have to be Sunday), although I then go & tell myself “a change is as good as a rest” and end up doing just as much on the seventh day, just different stuff. I am as guilty as anyone of doing too much and am making plans right now to make sure I get more downtime in future.
Comment by JF — May 7, 2009 @ 10:05 am
Really interesting, and not too tangential, ideas in a book called ‘Multiplicity’, by Rita Carter. She suggests that most of us have more than one ’self’, hardwired by genes and experience into our brains. She presents convincing evidence for it. Might be a self with a martyrdom complex, and another wanting nothing more than to cut loose. Might be a worker self and a nice and peaceful self (6). And all are jostling for space in our tiny heads and hearts. She argues that given today’s ‘multi-mask’ society, more and more people are becoming more and more ‘multiple’, in order to cope – and this might not be a bad thing, especially if the alternative is getting squashed a la Jon’s cartoon. So my big question is, what does a monotheistic religion have to say about this? Jesus was probably multiple: healer, teacher, carpenter(?), party-goer, temple-rearranger, wilderness lover, son, big bruv.
Comment by Steve Lancaster — May 7, 2009 @ 10:09 am
just as I think that I’m getting to the end of time demands, something
else crops up to fill it again…
“in my life, there is no tomorrow
in my life, only now
time demands more than I can offer
life crowds in to every pause”
Comment by Caroline Too — May 7, 2009 @ 10:25 am
full song lyrics for #9 here if you are foolish enough to want to see them
http://celtic_difference.typepad.com/a_difference_that_makes_a/2005/07/crowded_now.html
Comment by Caroline Too — May 7, 2009 @ 10:28 am
Jesus wasn’t rushed. He only started his ministry at age 30 (although I’m sure that’s an oversimplificationand it’s a reasonable extrapolation that he pulled back from everything quite frequently to have some quiet time with God.
Comment by herbeey — May 7, 2009 @ 10:38 am
We pile sooo much onto our lives and the church piles even more onto us.
A few years ago I shook of some of my burdens and have been much freer and less depressed since.
http://www.beatthedrum.wordpress.com
Comment by beatthedrum — May 7, 2009 @ 11:29 am
Aaaaah yeah…with you there, Jon..;-)
Comment by HisGal — May 7, 2009 @ 1:14 pm
Hi Kim, I’m a big fan of Brennan Manning, though haven’t read this one.
I wish I could just pick a coin out of a fishes mouth to pay my way, Jesus just seemed to disregard all the petty stuff in life
for me the weights that crush are the constant put downs at work, never having any cash to ‘blow’ and getting such a small amount of time to myself
Comment by subo — May 7, 2009 @ 2:12 pm
hehe the thought of a book by Bernard Manning being being discussed in this context is very good
subo – they were selling it in paperback at church as it was recommended, but when I just went on Amazon to order another they are still only in hardback there. Its the only one of his I’ve read and it took my breath away – I’ve ordered some others now. Hope you can protect yourself from the grim stuff at work
Comment by Kim — May 7, 2009 @ 2:33 pm
Subo
Hope and pray that you’ll find yourself in a more expansive and generous space before too much longer.
Comment by Pat — May 7, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
14. I have similar weights as well. I have to keep reminding myself that Jesus was God and hence, he didn’t let the crap that gets to me get to me.
Re: Money – I don’t know how to explain it but things have a way of turning out. I was freaking out re: how I was going to pay for business related trip I need to take to Poland and the UK this summer when I landed a speaking gig to talk about new forms of church in the US (Yes, doing serious plugs for Proost). I chose to accept what few gigs I get on faith (chicks get MUCH fewer opps than dudes). Here I’m taking Andrew Jones’ advice by not asking for a set fee but if folks ask about my fee, suggest that they pay what they can – noting that what I make from someone who can afford it will help me make connections with groups that are flat broke. This way I’m helping facilitate dialogues by helping people make connections instead of being a hired author/speaker paid to perform. It’s a change in attitude – I noticed that a number of folks doing grassroots work that I respect are developing a similar approach. As it happens, I am getting paid enough to cover this trip. Two people advanced me a bit of money so I could afford to travel until they give me the check (I’m on my way there now). This is for the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire (yes that diocese that started the fighting) and all this feels right. I am really trying to put more of my trust in God in this department and I’m starting to be at ease here but I’ve got a long ways to go before my anxieties over how I will pay for my bills will dissipate.
My problem is at times too much time to myself – as any writer, artist, musician can testify, a good chunk of this work happens when you’re alone. Balancing being alone without becoming engulfed by loneliness is a challenge – reading Merton helps a bit.
What I struggle with at times are the putdowns – I am used to people flinging arrows at satirists but over these past three years I’ve been hit with a lot of emergent arrows by people I “thought” were my friends. That’s been especially hard to deal with especially being accused falsely of libel and slander which for a female writer is about as bad as using the “c” word. (What I am guilty of is letting my anger get the better of me and being obnoxious but what I say is true even if the tone is unChristlike.) ASBO Jesus has been a great safe place where I can vent and know that while I might be crazy at times, I’m not insane.
Comment by beckyG — May 7, 2009 @ 3:39 pm
peace to you who are struggling under the weight of it all.
as for me, i am a dog whose tail is often known to wag him.
Comment by jonbirch — May 7, 2009 @ 3:47 pm
Steve @8 I haven’t read the book so can’t really give a proper response at present. However I did look at the stuff on her website and I can’t say that I find it a particularly convincing thesis. I’d love to ask what the ‘convincing evidence’ is – but fear, after my contributions on the last 2 threads, that I might be in danger of stereotyping myself!
Comment by Pat — May 7, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
cheers for the warm thoughts Pat and Kim, funny, after winging about lack of ‘blowable’ cash, i stumbled on a fiver in the streets today
Comment by subo — May 7, 2009 @ 10:31 pm
Subo, #20, think that fiver was mine. Can I have it back please!
Comment by Miriworm — May 7, 2009 @ 10:40 pm
i’m not altogether sure you’re being honest with us, miriworm.
Comment by jonbirch — May 7, 2009 @ 10:45 pm
sorry Miriworm, I’ve spent it
Comment by subo — May 8, 2009 @ 5:52 pm
Pat (19),
The book’s worth a read – the evidence I find convincing (by which I mean fair, not open and shut) is the mixture of case-studies, exercises, and the neuroscience of identity formation. It chimes with me on a cultural level, and personally, too.
But it’s radical and controversial, certainly!
Can I ask a genuine question, people? Does anyone know of anyone inside the Church who is grappling with the ideas neuroscience is raising? Because it can be really frustrating trying to wrestle with the implications for spirituality and theology in isolation. I can’t be the only person with a bookcase heaving with popular science books and a background in evangelical Christianity who finds the tensions creative rather than a threat.
Comment by Steve Lancaster — May 8, 2009 @ 7:58 pm
Steve – I agree that current neuroscientific research is raising inportant questions about personhood which we need to adress.
Not sure what you mean by ‘in the church’; there are certainly people within the science/theology community who are grappling with these things. My own research involves transdisciplinary dialogue between theology and 2 different branches of neuroscience and, like you, I find that a creative and not a threatening place to be.
Comment by Pat — May 8, 2009 @ 10:11 pm
Steve – Check out the Templeton Foundation. They do a lot of work on science/religion from an intellectual standpoint.
Comment by beckyG — May 9, 2009 @ 12:01 am