Annie Dillard says in one of her books that we should be wearing crash helmets instead of fancy hats to church. Personally I would like to have a praise band with enough energy to spontaneously combust!
That used to me, I also wished sometimes i would spontaneously combust too
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Sometimes I wished the congregation would go up in flames
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now I’m just in a band – it’s much more fun and I don’t have to worry about swearing/drinking/havin it on stage
I occasionally go to the local Pentecostal service, as I like a good knees up sing along and clap
last week they had the regional superintendent arrive, to bring inspiration and encouragement – except he had the arrogance to diss the musicians, why do people do that!
[...] One of the great thought-provoking cartoon sites is Jon Birch’s ASBO Jesus (for my American readers – and ASBO is an Anti-Social Behaviour Order). Sometimes, they are lighter than others, like today’s: [...]
I really like our worship band, but I suspect they are way above average as they’re a paid resident band employed by the church. They’re very talented and there’s a really good violinist and a cello player.
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 4, 2009 @ 11:51 pm
I also play in a worship band although I am not a muscian i play drums…..
Choirs are good… I was a chorister…. but not good for everything.
I like to sing songs to Jesus, Holy Spirit and Father. As it helps me to glorify them.
Of course we are also instructed to sing / worship in the bible
Comment by beatthedrum — August 6, 2009 @ 10:48 am
Ahhhh. This pic is answered prayer.
Over the years I have changed from enjoying CCM, to disliking it. The current worship songs seem more like a poor knock off of secular music. It has really become boring.
But I know that there are many who love CCM type stuff.
I don’t know – there’s a lot of variety. I think a lot of the songs sung at my church are unique to that worship band because they wrote them themselves and some of them are really good. Some of them are quite ‘dark’ and I find that exciting, though the image of a dark angel on the big screen was a bit too scary even for me. Can’t stand the sentimental stuff though. Personally, I think anything’s better than naff choruses.
Beat the Drum (#33) — where did you get the idea from that a drummer was not a musician? If you need convincing, try listening to any orchestral piece with a timpani. Or try “The Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra” by Benjamin Britten; this piece introduces all the instruments in the orchestra, and percussion have their place alongside the others. (It was performed at Greenbelt last year).
Lee (#32): I take it you’re being sarcastic by asking this question in the past tense! If not every church has a choir, many do. I would draw the distinction between professional choirs who are essentially there to perform rather than to worship, and those composed of members of the congregation, for whom their singing is part of their worship.
But for me, all singing is worship, even if the subject is secular (I’m learning some songs with words by Shakespeare at the moment). For some people, producing music, in whatever way, really has the power to lift them out of themselves.
rebecca @ 36… i think beatthedrum is referencing an old muso joke… ‘what do you call a man who hangs around with three musicians?.. a drummer!’ my personal favourite… ‘what’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?.. with a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once.’
hey beaty, we cross posted! here’s another one for you… ‘what will you never hear said in a recording studio?.. will the banjo player please move his porsche.’
aah bk, sorry… if it helps, i’m singing at a wedding tomorrow, amazing grace with no accompaniment… i may well explode!
andyp… hahahahahahahaha! here goes then… a drummer decides to take up playing the bass, so he receives it through the post and after a couple of days fiddling with it he decides it needs new strings, so he pops to the shop. he says to the man behind the counter, “i’d like some new strings for my bass please.” the man behind the counter says, “you’re a drummer, aren’t you?” the drummer says, “yes, how did you know?”… the man replies, “this is a chip shop”.
I haven’t heard their music – is it truly awful? Is it very American sounding? Hillsong seem to have merged with the human potential movement. I expect they’ll do their own version of ‘The Landmark Forum’ next.
What did Derek say? All I got was a big box with a little box in the corner.
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 9, 2009 @ 12:52 pm
42. So how did the wedding go Jon? I’m sure you gave it your heart, which is what a couple really needs as they start out in their new life together.
That to me is the heart of the matter – I can go plenty of places to hear free music and an edifying lecture. I do enjoy the occasional sung service performed by a stellar choir especially when it’s held at a cathedral with killer acoustics.
But I come to church (albeit not as regularly as I should) to connect with a fellow body of believers – and I can’t have that connection when I’m at a “performance.”
Yep, I’m pretty disheartened with much of church, but I think I’m getting even more disheartened with cheap humour at the expense of the easy charicatures. More of the same begins to look as exclusivist and monoview as the ‘victims’ oft-charicatured. Soz!
Sorry again, but Charlie Williams (black comedian of the 70’s?) found racist humour funny – doesn’t legitimise it. Sometimes it’s easier for the victim to gain acceptance and deflect criticism by self-deprecation. 769 – 773 show that AsboJesus can be funny, thoughtful and non-specific victim targeted. My advice is stick to points of ‘value’ – still funny obviously – perhaps that’s where the cheap reference needs to be contexted. btw, I’m not a worship leader
I don’t think one can legislate on humour, as you appear to be doing. No one else seems to have a problem with it and those in worship bands will just have to learn to laugh at themselves the same as the rest of us do. Anyone is fair game when it comes to comedy.
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 18, 2009 @ 9:55 pm
take your point mikey. i guess i think it’s fair game because for many years i’ve been one, led all over, including greenbelt communion a couple of times. still produce masses of resources as proost. it’s all part of me figuring stuff out and getting stuff off my chest and generally not wanting to be too po’ faced about things. i hope you understand, it isn’t a personal attack in the way it might be perceived… don’t get me wrong, it is an attack… but a fairly gentle one really. or at least that’s how it seems to me. it just made me laugh…
whether i would have been laid back an un-earnest enough to have laughed at my daftness a few years ago, i’m not sure. now, i know i’m a pillock…
thanks for the healthy chat, mikey. it’s little conversations like this that help me think… btw. my vicar friend is always a great resource for asbos. he didn’t let me down… i had a great time.
A delicious twist on ‘Left Behind’
Comment by Pat — August 4, 2009 @ 1:09 pm
ahh…. but what would you have instead?
Comment by Lee — August 4, 2009 @ 1:51 pm
This is usually the point when we discover just how many fellow-ASBOers are in worship bands…
Comment by Carole — August 4, 2009 @ 1:56 pm
I knew we should have done a risk assessment when we were planning that Pentecost service…
Comment by Carole — August 4, 2009 @ 1:57 pm
Carole, love it!!!
Comment by Kayte — August 4, 2009 @ 1:58 pm
Carol: I’m in a worship Band and would love this to happen on many sundays.
Comment by Will — August 4, 2009 @ 2:53 pm
… and I wasn’t there to see it, rats!
Comment by Catriona — August 4, 2009 @ 3:16 pm
lee @ 2… personally, i’d have a great big blank space.
carole… haha!
Comment by jonbirch — August 4, 2009 @ 3:28 pm
Annie Dillard says in one of her books that we should be wearing crash helmets instead of fancy hats to church. Personally I would like to have a praise band with enough energy to spontaneously combust!
Comment by rockingrev — August 4, 2009 @ 3:36 pm
jon @9… a big blank space sounds like nothingness or non-being to me
Comment by Lee — August 4, 2009 @ 3:56 pm
I’m on the technical team, and usually join the worship team as they are praying before the service
Next time they pray for ‘Fire to come down!, I will remember this pic and have a silly grin on my face
Comment by Kim- The African — August 4, 2009 @ 4:24 pm
That used to me, I also wished sometimes i would spontaneously combust too
-
Sometimes I wished the congregation would go up in flames
-
now I’m just in a band – it’s much more fun and I don’t have to worry about swearing/drinking/havin it on stage
Comment by matybigfro — August 4, 2009 @ 4:31 pm
When this church has a “candlelight service”, we don’t do it in half-measure!
Comment by Forrest — August 4, 2009 @ 4:44 pm
great cartoon, grinning like a cheshire cat
I occasionally go to the local Pentecostal service, as I like a good knees up sing along and clap
last week they had the regional superintendent arrive, to bring inspiration and encouragement – except he had the arrogance to diss the musicians, why do people do that!
Comment by subo — August 4, 2009 @ 5:48 pm
Carole (4) & Will (6):
Love the cartoon, Jon.
Comment by janetp — August 4, 2009 @ 6:00 pm
!!Janetp!! Hello!!! I haven’t seen you around here for a while…or have I just not been paying enough attention? Are you off to GB this year?
Comment by Carole — August 4, 2009 @ 6:39 pm
[...] One of the great thought-provoking cartoon sites is Jon Birch’s ASBO Jesus (for my American readers – and ASBO is an Anti-Social Behaviour Order). Sometimes, they are lighter than others, like today’s: [...]
Pingback by clayboy » My sax is on fire — August 4, 2009 @ 7:41 pm
*is part of a praise band and sometimes wishes we would spontaneously combust*
Comment by shelly — August 4, 2009 @ 7:54 pm
Re 12 Matybigfro
‘havin it on stage’???!!!
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 4, 2009 @ 8:46 pm
lets take the roof of
Comment by subo — August 4, 2009 @ 9:11 pm
I knew I should’nd have lent that Jimmy Hendrix DVD to the bassist last week!
(p.s. hi all – long time lurker here
)
Comment by allsaintslive — August 4, 2009 @ 9:33 pm
I really like our worship band, but I suspect they are way above average as they’re a paid resident band employed by the church. They’re very talented and there’s a really good violinist and a cello player.
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 4, 2009 @ 11:51 pm
[...] From ASBO Jesus. [...]
Pingback by When the worship band spontaneously combusted… « The Complete Worship Musician — August 5, 2009 @ 4:27 am
I’m smiling loudly whilst reading this in bed.
Comment by Bill Kinnon — August 5, 2009 @ 4:41 am
Playing in the band. Secretly wishing we would self combust at times. Loved this
Comment by Mackan Andersson — August 5, 2009 @ 5:45 am
I keep thinking someone needs to make a Spinal-Tap-esq video of a month in the life of a church.
;]
Comment by Luke — August 5, 2009 @ 6:35 am
hehehe
Comment by kevrowe — August 5, 2009 @ 7:28 am
Light my fire!
Comment by miriworm — August 5, 2009 @ 7:41 am
Another 20-year worship band vet here and I would LOOVE to see this happen…preferably during someone’s extended “worship solo.”
Comment by Lisa — August 5, 2009 @ 1:35 pm
Poor old worship bands – they get a lot of stick these days – fast becoming an culturally ethnic minority – should be protected in law.
Comment by robin — August 5, 2009 @ 6:09 pm
So what’s wrong with worship bands anyway?
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 5, 2009 @ 10:57 pm
while we’re at it, what was wrong with choirs?
Comment by Lee — August 6, 2009 @ 8:07 am
I also play in a worship band although I am not a muscian i play drums…..
Choirs are good… I was a chorister…. but not good for everything.
I like to sing songs to Jesus, Holy Spirit and Father. As it helps me to glorify them.
Of course we are also instructed to sing / worship in the bible
Comment by beatthedrum — August 6, 2009 @ 10:48 am
Ahhhh. This pic is answered prayer.
Over the years I have changed from enjoying CCM, to disliking it. The current worship songs seem more like a poor knock off of secular music. It has really become boring.
But I know that there are many who love CCM type stuff.
Comment by Mike — August 6, 2009 @ 1:20 pm
I don’t know – there’s a lot of variety. I think a lot of the songs sung at my church are unique to that worship band because they wrote them themselves and some of them are really good. Some of them are quite ‘dark’ and I find that exciting, though the image of a dark angel on the big screen was a bit too scary even for me. Can’t stand the sentimental stuff though. Personally, I think anything’s better than naff choruses.
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 6, 2009 @ 4:37 pm
Beat the Drum (#33) — where did you get the idea from that a drummer was not a musician? If you need convincing, try listening to any orchestral piece with a timpani. Or try “The Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra” by Benjamin Britten; this piece introduces all the instruments in the orchestra, and percussion have their place alongside the others. (It was performed at Greenbelt last year).
Lee (#32): I take it you’re being sarcastic by asking this question in the past tense! If not every church has a choir, many do. I would draw the distinction between professional choirs who are essentially there to perform rather than to worship, and those composed of members of the congregation, for whom their singing is part of their worship.
But for me, all singing is worship, even if the subject is secular (I’m learning some songs with words by Shakespeare at the moment). For some people, producing music, in whatever way, really has the power to lift them out of themselves.
Comment by rebecca — August 7, 2009 @ 7:49 am
The banjo players in my worship band keep making the point Rebecca, its a micky take
Comment by beatthedrum — August 7, 2009 @ 9:47 am
rebecca @ 36… i think beatthedrum is referencing an old muso joke… ‘what do you call a man who hangs around with three musicians?.. a drummer!’
my personal favourite… ‘what’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?.. with a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once.’
Comment by jonbirch — August 7, 2009 @ 9:48 am
hey beaty, we cross posted!
here’s another one for you… ‘what will you never hear said in a recording studio?.. will the banjo player please move his porsche.’ 
Comment by jonbirch — August 7, 2009 @ 9:59 am
A drummer gets fed up of having the mickey taken out of him, so he decides to learn some real instruments.
He walks into a shop and says “I’ll take that red trumpet and the accordion over there please”.
The shop assistant looks at him a bit strangely and says “OK, you can have the Fire Extinguisher. But the radiator’s got to stay”
Comment by andyp — August 7, 2009 @ 10:14 am
I’m singing at church on Sunday – from the front – and really worried now!!!
Comment by brunettekoala — August 7, 2009 @ 10:21 am
aah bk, sorry… if it helps, i’m singing at a wedding tomorrow, amazing grace with no accompaniment… i may well explode!
andyp… hahahahahahahaha!
here goes then… a drummer decides to take up playing the bass, so he receives it through the post and after a couple of days fiddling with it he decides it needs new strings, so he pops to the shop. he says to the man behind the counter, “i’d like some new strings for my bass please.” the man behind the counter says, “you’re a drummer, aren’t you?” the drummer says, “yes, how did you know?”… the man replies, “this is a chip shop”. 
Comment by jonbirch — August 7, 2009 @ 10:36 am
Tiggy,
You have a good point. I have encountered several churches that write their own worship music. Some wonderful expressions really come out.
Comment by Mike — August 7, 2009 @ 1:23 pm
@Jon – hmmm…if I hear of an explosion at a wedding tomorrow, I’ll know to back out of Sunday…hee hee.
Comment by brunettekoala — August 7, 2009 @ 1:56 pm
Ooh, do you have a big, deep voice Jon?
What’s this Seven Hills album you did? Is it about Bath?
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 7, 2009 @ 7:56 pm
Comment by Derek — August 7, 2009 @ 11:18 pm
Check this out, some guys at the “Frizon” festival in Sweden: http://www.dagen.se/blogg/frizon09/2009/08/frizons-skonaste-t-shirt#kommentarer
Comment by JoSjo — August 9, 2009 @ 12:22 pm
I haven’t heard their music – is it truly awful? Is it very American sounding? Hillsong seem to have merged with the human potential movement. I expect they’ll do their own version of ‘The Landmark Forum’ next.
What did Derek say? All I got was a big box with a little box in the corner.
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 9, 2009 @ 12:52 pm
42. So how did the wedding go Jon? I’m sure you gave it your heart, which is what a couple really needs as they start out in their new life together.
That to me is the heart of the matter – I can go plenty of places to hear free music and an edifying lecture. I do enjoy the occasional sung service performed by a stellar choir especially when it’s held at a cathedral with killer acoustics.
But I come to church (albeit not as regularly as I should) to connect with a fellow body of believers – and I can’t have that connection when I’m at a “performance.”
Comment by beckyg — August 9, 2009 @ 1:23 pm
Re 12 Matybigfro
‘havin it on stage’???!!!
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 4, 2009 @ 8:46 pm
to mean getting a bit exited/moving/dancing/jumping whatever
Comment by matybigfro — August 11, 2009 @ 5:12 pm
Hmm, I think you need to rephrase that – unless you’re in Amsterdam.
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 11, 2009 @ 8:38 pm
brunettekoala… hope it went well and you, like me, didn’t explode!
becky… i loved it. although it’s more nervy singing for 30 than 30,000!!! still, i think it was one of those special moments. thanks.
Comment by jonbirch — August 12, 2009 @ 10:49 am
Yep, I’m pretty disheartened with much of church, but I think I’m getting even more disheartened with cheap humour at the expense of the easy charicatures. More of the same begins to look as exclusivist and monoview as the ‘victims’ oft-charicatured. Soz!
Comment by Mikey — August 17, 2009 @ 8:40 am
they’re not only ‘cheap’, mikey, they’re free!
robb, above is a worship leader… he finds it funny… i think. 
Comment by jonbirch — August 17, 2009 @ 1:02 pm
Sorry again, but Charlie Williams (black comedian of the 70’s?) found racist humour funny – doesn’t legitimise it. Sometimes it’s easier for the victim to gain acceptance and deflect criticism by self-deprecation. 769 – 773 show that AsboJesus can be funny, thoughtful and non-specific victim targeted. My advice is stick to points of ‘value’ – still funny obviously – perhaps that’s where the cheap reference needs to be contexted. btw, I’m not a worship leader
Comment by Mikey — August 18, 2009 @ 9:48 pm
I don’t think one can legislate on humour, as you appear to be doing. No one else seems to have a problem with it and those in worship bands will just have to learn to laugh at themselves the same as the rest of us do. Anyone is fair game when it comes to comedy.
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 18, 2009 @ 9:55 pm
take your point mikey. i guess i think it’s fair game because for many years i’ve been one, led all over, including greenbelt communion a couple of times. still produce masses of resources as proost. it’s all part of me figuring stuff out and getting stuff off my chest and generally not wanting to be too po’ faced about things. i hope you understand, it isn’t a personal attack in the way it might be perceived… don’t get me wrong, it is an attack… but a fairly gentle one really. or at least that’s how it seems to me. it just made me laugh…
whether i would have been laid back an un-earnest enough to have laughed at my daftness a few years ago, i’m not sure. now, i know i’m a pillock…
Comment by jonbirch — August 18, 2009 @ 10:05 pm
Knowing you’re a pillock is the first step to loving yourself. Well it at least gets you smiling at yourself!
Comment by Tiggy Sagar — August 18, 2009 @ 10:38 pm
Interesting discussion, especially as credentials are being presented
Hopefully the discussion stands independently, it beats a hehehe ‘debate’ for me. ‘No-one else has a problem with it’ – I suppose that is the problem for me, reinforcing that there is a danger of developing a monoview ‘alternative’ Christianity, that is actually a snapshot of a specific point on a group-fixed journey, rather than reflecting the ‘hope for the world in your hands’ – that would be ‘a healing thing’ © 1994 Serious Thing – oops a peek into one’s own credentials :-#
Comment by Mikey — August 19, 2009 @ 7:31 am
haha, mikey!
my hope is, that this blog is a ‘healing thing’… am off for lunch with a vicar fiend in a mo – so i’m not totally lost. 
Comment by jonbirch — August 19, 2009 @ 9:38 am
I love vicar fiends – now they can signpost! Blog may well meet your hope,certainly a valuable think-resource – thanks for living it
Comment by Mikey — August 19, 2009 @ 11:13 am
thanks for the healthy chat, mikey. it’s little conversations like this that help me think… btw. my vicar friend is always a great resource for asbos. he didn’t let me down… i had a great time.
Comment by jonbirch — August 19, 2009 @ 3:16 pm
Jon — did you intend to write “fiend” the first time and “friend” the second time, or is one of them a typo??
More importantly, is this person the inspiration behind cartoon number 774?
Comment by rebecca — August 20, 2009 @ 11:24 am
haha… they are both supposed to be ‘friend’.
Comment by jonbirch — August 20, 2009 @ 12:41 pm
oh… and ‘yes’ it is.
Comment by jonbirch — August 20, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
Yes!
Comment by Susan — September 5, 2009 @ 1:54 pm