hhmmmm… something gone a little awry with this message?
am I first with a comment?
Hahaha!!! Only seen anything similar to this at my doctor’s surgery, “If you think you may have swine flu do not come into the surgery…” It’s worse than the bubonic plague!
Well during the Crusades, a lot of them died from diseases spread in the camps – and the toilet facilities didn’t help.
It’s all too intents!
Lets face it Birchy, you’re more likely to get wine flu……. And even then you cant stay in a tent, as it blows away!
Reminds me of the time I missed a healing service at a festival because the first aid team insisted on taking me away on a little golf buggy after a nasty frisbee accident.
As we drove past the big top I was sure I could see crutches and wheelchairs being thrown from the stage and there was me being driven into the hands of a well meaning but unskilled volunteer…
‘And even then you cant stay in a tent, as it blows away!’
Are you suggesting there’s a lot of wind INSIDE the tent?
just need people in biohazard suits laying hands on the tent!- thanks Jon made me smile
@Tiggy- Couldnt possibly say!! Might be a reference to a localised tornado though.
I called the Swine Flu hotline – all I got was crackling
I heard that the first symptom is that you come out in rashers.
Another is that you get the trotts.
I woke up with pig tails this morning … Should I be worried?
The doctor asked me how long I’d had the symptoms of Swine Flu. I said it must have been about a Weeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Apparently my mate’s got Swine Flu but I think he’s just telling porkies!
The only known cure for Swine Flu in humans has been found to be the
liberal application of oinkment.
IF YOU GET AN EMAIL ABOUT SWINE FLU DELETE IT AS ITS ONLY SPAM.
Swine flu however, is not a problem for the pigs because they’re all going to be cured anyway!
News Flash …. This just in. The world’s religious leaders have issued a joint declaration that the Swine Flu pandemic is the start of the aporkalypse.
Swine flu has now mixed with bird flu. Scientists say they will find a cure when pigs fly.
This is not a time for panic. It is no pig deal. It is a mild hamdemic, don’t believe the spam you’re getting.
Antibacterial Prayer Serum – lay hands on someone with the confidence of not catching something nasty.
Hope I’ve done my emoticon syntax OK…
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks Miriworm!
is there healing for aweful jokes, mirriworm serious groans beyond understanding here!
Bored of swineflu now.
Boared you say? You really shouldn’t take your health for grunted…
carole… you should have learned from miriworm. poor caroline is probably quite ill from all this unforgivable punning… swineflu is no truffling matter! this really is snort the way we should be treating this subject! and you’re not even pen-itent!
I swill not put up with this any more!
What have I to be pen-itent about? Far be it from me to hog the commentary…just not my sty-le.
Wallowing in a swale of corny puns, eh?
You wonderful people with your fabulously awful puns
Thanks everyone for such a good laugh!
janetp… that’s porkfictly alright.
Jon – why do you keep casting such pearls before us swine?
Frankly the hysteria about swine flu is hogwash. Fewer people died from this than normally die every year from the regular flue (at least here in the states). My heart goes out to the families who lost a loved one but it’s not an “epidemic.”
Yes, BeckyG, I agree with your point. But, that said, it’s lying pretty dormant here at the moment and we still have the hurdle of the big flu season to get through before we have a final figure…though how you distinguish between seasonal flu and swine flu (and a nasty flu-ey cold bug thing), I’m not exactly sure. I guess this is where lies, damned lies and statistics come into play!
Carole, how do we distinguish?
it’s very easy, we’ll be able to distinguish by which type of flu sells more newspapers!
It’s a relief S.flu turned out to be a manageable virus, only reminding us of our vulnerability. And for me, the church is to be commended for responding to a situation of potential threat.
the other plus, for someone working in as a receptionists at the Docs, is people are warily keeping away – as you might catch swine flu queuing up at the health centre, so works been quiet so far
who know though, what the vaccine will do to us?, would you trust anything recommended by a Gov. thats told so many porkies?
My wife is a GP and she is putting this one up in her office- with suitable note where to find the website. Love it. Mind you I’ve heard Kermit is running scared.
rockingrev… please give dr/mrs rockingrev my thanks. hope it brings a smile to the sick and the jaded. … not that all gp’s are sick and jaded you understand.
Oh I don’t know Jon, I now know quite a few GP’s through my wife and they seem pretty sick and jaded to me! Mind you one of the best stories I have heard recently was from a vet friend who had someone try to make an appointment with him because they reckoned he would know more about swine flu than his doctor!
If it does not work, suet in court
Actor Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films, has contracted Swine Flu. If they were going to quarantine any school to prevent the spread of Swine Flu, you wonder why they missed ‘Hogwarts.’
How did the pig get on the roof?
The swine flew!
First we had mad cow disease. Then bird flu. And now swine flu. What the hell is this? Farmageddon?!
How to tell your girlfriend has swine flu: she starts hogging the bed sheets.
If swine flu goes pandemic, does that make it a globe trotter?
Swine flu is getting serious, it has been reported to be a hamdemic, which may lead to an aporkolypse… But we’ll get through. Where there’s a swill there’s a way.
Did you hear about Michael Moore’s new film based on the 2001 lunchmeat attacks? Fahrenheit: Swiney Devon.
How do you know you’ve got swine flu? … the thermometer tells you you’re bacon.
This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy had influenza A virus subtype hemagglutinin protein 1 neuraminidase protein 1.
rockingrev… could you please inform your good lady doctor wife that Will is ill and needs help. tell her it’s the trots.
northern one for robb… snout to do with me.
I was just at a Christian festival where some kids came to my daughter’s kids club saying “We had swine flu yesterday but our dad prayed for healing and told us to come back in today!” Doh?!
Wow, was he living in the Middle Ages or just desperate to offload the kids?
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