Calling the fallen to memory, or at least stopping to honour their service and sacrifice, is the tradition I’m most proud of in this country. It bespeaks a high regard for people.
for me, remembering, is trying to remember to bring hope, humanity and celebration into ordinary situations, and not to let the big ideas in my head bruise those around me
i have found myself in the past really holding on to dates of loved ones that have died. Then with life that gets busy i have missed those dates and have been really cross / angry with myself. So i try not to get stressed but feel that i miss out on something by not marking a time for them. This year Esther is suggesting we go to an event put on by our local hospice called light up a life http://www.fairhavens.org.uk/light_up_a_life/
i am getting anxious about marking the time so specifically but I also want to do something. (perhaps my anxiety about dates like this has subconsciously contributed to me forgetting about those dates?)
I don’t think it is wrong to not have it in the front of your consciousness and it is good to mark the time.
bath yfc do football training with a bunch of lads at a local comp.
the other day they were just going to start a match, when several of the lads asked if they could have a minutes silence to remember the lost. so they did. as the director of bath yfc said ‘just when think you’ve got to know a bunch of kids, they surprise you.’ brilliant… well i think so.
not heard of the minute applause, will.
you’ve reminded though, of three years ago, just a few weeks before mum died and standing outside swindon town hall with my dad on remembrance sunday. when the service was completed, (wreaths laid, tunes played), these old guys started to march away and it was still silent as it had been for the past hour or so… i don’t know why the urge, probably because i was cut up about mum and emotionally charged, but something about those guys made me want to show my appreciation, i didn’t want them to leave before they knew i was grateful i suppose. so i started clapping on my own… then, some army guys behind me joined in, then in no time it travelled throughout the hundreds gathered and even the mayor and dignitaries were applauding full on. it was really moving… it was like everybody else wanted to say thanks too.
i’ll never forget my dad looking at me with pride and saying ‘you started that.’ a real cut gem at a dark time.
the silence was really important throughout, but the spontaneous applause felt equally important… and although i know it’s not the ‘done’ thing, i’m sure it was a good thing.
so, i think silence is vital and applause may sometimes have a place… but not instead of silence.
The applause has been used at football games. I don’t know if with crowd mentality it is the safest thing or if it is a mark of respect to celebrate a life.
Jon, me teach you how to be anxious? Grandmas and sucking eggs springs to mind
I think that over the years with so many dates to remember for this kind of thing it is where my anxiety has manifested itself. Esther know’s before i do when a date is coming up as i turn into a right moody git, can’t focus on anything and as it gets closer just start panicking about anything. Then esther jently lets me know that it was the aniversary of dad’s or my brothers death and i know what’s going on. Sadly she sometimes has to ask who had died at a particular time if she doesn’t know but recognises the signs!
sometimes i want to remember because if i do but after the date i get very, very angry at myself. I don’t know if there is a balance. Probably is but i’m not normal so don’t feel like a balance in this situation suits me.
Somehow this year, with the death of henry Allingham, bill Stone and especially Harry Patch…
it was all much more poignent…
Comment by Caroline Too — November 12, 2009 @ 10:40 pm
Calling the fallen to memory, or at least stopping to honour their service and sacrifice, is the tradition I’m most proud of in this country. It bespeaks a high regard for people.
Comment by ED... (who blogs at Sincere Ignorance and Conscientious Stupidity) — November 12, 2009 @ 10:47 pm
I agree ED.
Comment by brunettekoala — November 13, 2009 @ 12:17 am
i agree, caroline.
i agree, ed.
Comment by jonbirch — November 13, 2009 @ 12:42 am
They shall not grow old as we who are left grow old.
Comment by miriworm — November 13, 2009 @ 8:52 am
morning bell:
For Tillich joy is not the opposite of sorrow.
Joy allows space for sorrow,
and takes sorrow
into itself…
A prayer word for today: ‘joy and sorrow’
for me, remembering, is trying to remember to bring hope, humanity and celebration into ordinary situations, and not to let the big ideas in my head bruise those around me
Comment by subo — November 13, 2009 @ 11:05 am
i have found myself in the past really holding on to dates of loved ones that have died. Then with life that gets busy i have missed those dates and have been really cross / angry with myself. So i try not to get stressed but feel that i miss out on something by not marking a time for them. This year Esther is suggesting we go to an event put on by our local hospice called light up a life http://www.fairhavens.org.uk/light_up_a_life/
i am getting anxious about marking the time so specifically but I also want to do something. (perhaps my anxiety about dates like this has subconsciously contributed to me forgetting about those dates?)
I don’t think it is wrong to not have it in the front of your consciousness and it is good to mark the time.
Comment by Will — November 13, 2009 @ 12:16 pm
bath yfc do football training with a bunch of lads at a local comp.
the other day they were just going to start a match, when several of the lads asked if they could have a minutes silence to remember the lost. so they did. as the director of bath yfc said ‘just when think you’ve got to know a bunch of kids, they surprise you.’ brilliant… well i think so.
Comment by jonbirch — November 13, 2009 @ 6:09 pm
Also not sure what i think of the minutes applause. Is it to celebrate a life or because there is doubt that people can respect the silence?
Comment by Will — November 14, 2009 @ 12:45 am
not heard of the minute applause, will.
you’ve reminded though, of three years ago, just a few weeks before mum died and standing outside swindon town hall with my dad on remembrance sunday. when the service was completed, (wreaths laid, tunes played), these old guys started to march away and it was still silent as it had been for the past hour or so… i don’t know why the urge, probably because i was cut up about mum and emotionally charged, but something about those guys made me want to show my appreciation, i didn’t want them to leave before they knew i was grateful i suppose. so i started clapping on my own… then, some army guys behind me joined in, then in no time it travelled throughout the hundreds gathered and even the mayor and dignitaries were applauding full on. it was really moving… it was like everybody else wanted to say thanks too.
i’ll never forget my dad looking at me with pride and saying ‘you started that.’ a real cut gem at a dark time.
the silence was really important throughout, but the spontaneous applause felt equally important… and although i know it’s not the ‘done’ thing, i’m sure it was a good thing.
so, i think silence is vital and applause may sometimes have a place… but not instead of silence.
Comment by jonbirch — November 14, 2009 @ 1:14 am
will, you must teach me how to make my anxiety help me forget too… i think i’m jealous of your ailment… i’ll swap you.
Comment by jonbirch — November 14, 2009 @ 1:17 am
We held a cocktail party after my grandma died – and we’re WASPs. I love the Irish idea of a wake to celebrate life with all its sorrows.
Comment by becky — November 14, 2009 @ 7:57 am
The applause has been used at football games. I don’t know if with crowd mentality it is the safest thing or if it is a mark of respect to celebrate a life.
Jon, me teach you how to be anxious? Grandmas and sucking eggs springs to mind
I think that over the years with so many dates to remember for this kind of thing it is where my anxiety has manifested itself. Esther know’s before i do when a date is coming up as i turn into a right moody git, can’t focus on anything and as it gets closer just start panicking about anything. Then esther jently lets me know that it was the aniversary of dad’s or my brothers death and i know what’s going on. Sadly she sometimes has to ask who had died at a particular time if she doesn’t know but recognises the signs!
sometimes i want to remember because if i do but after the date i get very, very angry at myself. I don’t know if there is a balance. Probably is but i’m not normal so don’t feel like a balance in this situation suits me.
Comment by Will — November 14, 2009 @ 5:19 pm