This time there’s a prize. The winner will be announced in the New Year.
Remember, in the cartoon anyone can say anything and there’s always that space under the cartoon for a sentence if you want to use it. Go on, have a go… You know you want to.
This time there’s a prize. The winner will be announced in the New Year.
Remember, in the cartoon anyone can say anything and there’s always that space under the cartoon for a sentence if you want to use it. Go on, have a go… You know you want to.
Please Pass the Patronization
In lieu of the telling the Nativity Story, the vicar decided to re-enact “Oliver Twist.”
or
The vicar decided to welcome the poor to his table this holiday season.
Religious Communion
Good King Wenceslas makes a valiant first attempt.
Servant: Which do you fancy, inheriting the earth or taking your pick of the left-overs?
And what are you having…?
Psalm 23: You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
The minister was appalled when he asked ‘Please sir, can I have some more?’
The MP calmly explained how each item was a legitimate claim against expenses.
Lazarus said to the Rich Man: “Mine could use a little more salt.”
I invite everyone to the Table; one at a time even. It’s more personal that way
i’m not convinced it needs a caption, Jon. I think it is profoundly disconcerting enough as it is.
“Come to this end my friend!”
You are welcome at the table. Just not at my end.
wow, dosn’t life just feel like this sometimes?
The reason for the season
unlike when the ministers says ‘come dine with me’, Jesus actually shared the food and waited on your himself.
The spirit of Christmas – family togetherness
All we ask for is a place at the table.
If poverty was good enough for Jesus…
Damn those magnetic cuff-links
Footballer’s wife orders new dining room table to ensure she can neither see or smell the turkey
This is my body given just for me.
Bloke on the right: “Oooff!”
“After your dogs are done, could I have some of the crumbs?” (Mark 7:27-28)
Non-inclusive communion service.
And neither would get off his ass and do anything.
It turns out that the difference between the haves and have nots is merely an engineering error.
We could sit opposite one another and yet be closer if we changed sides.
Charlie finally realized the difference between a card table and a banquet table.
Professor Darwin performs an experiment trying to create a human with longer arms.
Would it be too much to ask to pass the salt?
“At Christmas time I always invite a few poor folks to gather around my table.”
Christmas: peace on earth….and good will to all
“I want to be drunk”
(…thinks the bottle of wine)
‘Turkey and friends’ can wait but the spiritless individual just can’t.
I can’t think of anything – it’s just making me hungry.
“Your Next”
@ forrest: A song-line came in my mind, which is pretty close to your comment,”Come a little bit closer, baby”.
Love Angela
There you will find a baby, wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying on a platter.
Sir Dives Smith explains the trickle down effect of bankers’ bonuses.
sung to the tune of the old Drifters’ song:
C’mon over to my place
Hey you! we’re having a party
I’ll be driking, dancing and singing
if you c’mon over and watch!
(waddya mean you’re not old enough to remember!?!)
suburban, middle class christian says
“what poor, I see know poor…
if I just keep smiling at the photographer, I honestly can’t see anyone doing without!”
Ok. We’ve seen what you can do with loaves and fishes at the summer picnic. Now .. 1 turkey, 5 roasties ands pile of sprouts should be a walk in the park.
Caption: The Prodigal Son
Guy sitting with the servants: See, told you. Dad loves me the most.
…and they brought him gifts of Cranberry, crackers and tinsel.
Thank you Jesus, for my food, wine and servants but why are you sitting so far away from me?
selfishness gives you indigestion
OK, now I’ve pulled it this far, what happens if I let go of my end of your elasticated dining table?
Oh great. So now you want to spoil the meal I invited you to by being moody.
You’re white, what are you complaining about?!
Man on left: Christmas is a beautiful time of year isn’t it, Jeeves?
Male servant: Yes sir.
Optional at bottom: The most wonderful time of the year… for some.
Turns out ASBOJesus© Furniture is more practical for cartoons than mealtimes..
their different beliefs about communion, was a sticking point
From the figure seated at the left end of the table:
“For what we are about to receive, may the lord make us truly thankful. And may we always be mindful of the needs of others, for Jesus sake, Amen.”
Waiter: If you can’t beat them, join them.
Or:
Guy on right: If you can’t eat all that…
Or:
Caption: Christmas – The only time of year gluttony is overlooked.
Man with food to man without : You should have gone to Specsavers!!
waitress sighs silently to herself, ‘I think my feet look so big in this uniform’
an economics philosophy of ‘scarcity’ seem to make people look out for themselves more
it’s difficult for people to have reciprocal relationships without trust in God’s goodness and personal care for them
‘if only you had changed your posture, you could have had it all.’
So this is Christmas?
It was meant to be the annual bring and share Christmas lunch
The prodigal son was really hungry after returning home, his elder brother was unimpressed …
Christmas came early to Copenhagen this year; and now as then there is no room for the child
When the Smiths discovered their neighbour did not have money for a Christmas turkey, they decided to invite him into their home and show him how a real Christmas are celebrated.
Jim decided to invite his laid off neighbor to dinner… apparently the poor are still forgotten
Merry Christmas to ME!
My God punishes the greedy so that they are never satisfied. But unfortunately, we still don’t get it.
Guy on the right.
I know I’m with the AA, but you can give me at least a plate of food.
oh, crumbs!
Bloke with all the food: So you see, Detective Inspector, I have ensured that I and my ill-gotten gains are beyond the reach of even the long arm of the law…
In the interests of diversity, it would be better if you said “can I have just a bit of your *Seasonal* dinner?” Much less offensive to those of other faiths or none. But the answer’s still “no”.
Bloke with no food: “After all the food miles your lunch has done would a few more yards have mattered? And what’s with the giant salt cellar and pepper pot?”
Bloke on left: I’ll get the servants to clear the rest of this food and you can start setting up the Subbuteo from your end…
Bloke on right: You could be a bit more grateful for all the presents I got you!
Bloke on left: Yeah, but fruit and cider are not quite what I had in mind when I asked for anything as long as it is an Apple product!
Servant- A truly generous feast sir!
Man on far right- What’s that you say?
charity begins at home?
The man on the right is secretly hiding his delight – because he knows he won’t be the one on a diet in the new year.
Man on left: Come on…just have some left-over turkey…you can’t let the Boxing Day football results spoil the whole holiday!
(Phil’s contribution)
Man on left: Come and have a glass of wine…remember, Jesus is not the reason for the mid-season blip!
Man on right: To be honest with you, I’ve always hated doing the Conga…anyway, just chuck us a bottle of that white before the ‘revellers’ get back!
Man on right: My faith is strong and consequently God’s Spirit is a tangible presence in my life… I am blessed richly and materially, as you can see with your own eyes.
Man on left: Nah, as soon as your servants put the food on the table it slid down your end…a couple of beer mats under the legs should sort it!
Tagline: Not all ‘Spirit’ claims are on the level.
so…. who won?
In large letters,
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
In small letters underneath.
Then what?….
And I thought I was the good twin. Alas.
I missed out because I just subscribed; however I would’ve said…
Man on the left: “Happy Thanksgiving.”
my mom is an expert when it comes to choosing dining tables, she is always after durability and style .”,
I’m tellin’ ya…the table is on a slope