CHRISTMAS CAPTION COMPETITION

This time there’s a prize. The winner will be announced in the New Year.

Remember, in the cartoon anyone can say anything and there’s always that space under the cartoon for a sentence if you want to use it. Go on, have a go… You know you want to. :-)

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About jonbirch

animator, illustrator, character designer, graphic designer. music producer/recording musician. co-owner of PROOST. proost.co.uk
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82 Responses to CHRISTMAS CAPTION COMPETITION

  1. Please Pass the Patronization

  2. becky says:

    In lieu of the telling the Nativity Story, the vicar decided to re-enact “Oliver Twist.”

    or

    The vicar decided to welcome the poor to his table this holiday season.

  3. Kansas Bob says:

    Religious Communion

  4. Timbo says:

    Good King Wenceslas makes a valiant first attempt.

  5. Servant: Which do you fancy, inheriting the earth or taking your pick of the left-overs?

  6. Peter Banks says:

    And what are you having…?

  7. Miriworm says:

    Psalm 23: You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

  8. The minister was appalled when he asked ‘Please sir, can I have some more?’

  9. Ordinandy says:

    The MP calmly explained how each item was a legitimate claim against expenses.

  10. Saint Jonny says:

    Lazarus said to the Rich Man: “Mine could use a little more salt.”

  11. David says:

    I invite everyone to the Table; one at a time even. It’s more personal that way

  12. linus says:

    i’m not convinced it needs a caption, Jon. I think it is profoundly disconcerting enough as it is.

  13. Forrest says:

    “Come to this end my friend!”

  14. Mike says:

    You are welcome at the table. Just not at my end.

  15. subo says:

    wow, dosn’t life just feel like this sometimes?

  16. Chris says:

    The reason for the season

  17. émie says:

    unlike when the ministers says ‘come dine with me’, Jesus actually shared the food and waited on your himself.

  18. Tony says:

    The spirit of Christmas – family togetherness

  19. rory says:

    All we ask for is a place at the table.

  20. Liz says:

    If poverty was good enough for Jesus…

  21. Robin says:

    Damn those magnetic cuff-links

  22. coralfrog says:

    Footballer’s wife orders new dining room table to ensure she can neither see or smell the turkey

  23. Richard Kidd says:

    This is my body given just for me.

  24. Lewis says:

    Bloke on the right: “Oooff!”

  25. JoSjo says:

    “After your dogs are done, could I have some of the crumbs?” (Mark 7:27-28)

  26. danielg says:

    Non-inclusive communion service.

    And neither would get off his ass and do anything.

    It turns out that the difference between the haves and have nots is merely an engineering error.

    We could sit opposite one another and yet be closer if we changed sides.

    Charlie finally realized the difference between a card table and a banquet table.

    Professor Darwin performs an experiment trying to create a human with longer arms.

    Would it be too much to ask to pass the salt?

  27. kls says:

    “At Christmas time I always invite a few poor folks to gather around my table.”

  28. scott says:

    Christmas: peace on earth….and good will to all

  29. Kayte says:

    “I want to be drunk”

    (…thinks the bottle of wine)

  30. marcolicious says:

    ‘Turkey and friends’ can wait but the spiritless individual just can’t.

  31. Tiggy says:

    I can’t think of anything – it’s just making me hungry.

  32. angie says:

    @ forrest: A song-line came in my mind, which is pretty close to your comment,”Come a little bit closer, baby”. :)Love Angela

  33. rockingRev says:

    There you will find a baby, wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying on a platter.

  34. Caroline Too says:

    Sir Dives Smith explains the trickle down effect of bankers’ bonuses.

  35. Caroline Too says:

    sung to the tune of the old Drifters’ song:

    C’mon over to my place
    Hey you! we’re having a party
    I’ll be driking, dancing and singing
    if you c’mon over and watch!

    (waddya mean you’re not old enough to remember!?!)

  36. Caroline Too says:

    suburban, middle class christian says

    “what poor, I see know poor…

    if I just keep smiling at the photographer, I honestly can’t see anyone doing without!”

  37. Val says:

    Ok. We’ve seen what you can do with loaves and fishes at the summer picnic. Now .. 1 turkey, 5 roasties ands pile of sprouts should be a walk in the park.

  38. Caption: The Prodigal Son

    Guy sitting with the servants: See, told you. Dad loves me the most.

  39. Val says:

    …and they brought him gifts of Cranberry, crackers and tinsel.

  40. chandy says:

    Thank you Jesus, for my food, wine and servants but why are you sitting so far away from me?

  41. linus says:

    selfishness gives you indigestion

  42. Tim Simpson says:

    OK, now I’ve pulled it this far, what happens if I let go of my end of your elasticated dining table?

  43. Tea says:

    Oh great. So now you want to spoil the meal I invited you to by being moody.

  44. AdR says:

    You’re white, what are you complaining about?!

  45. M says:

    Man on left: Christmas is a beautiful time of year isn’t it, Jeeves?
    Male servant: Yes sir.

    Optional at bottom: The most wonderful time of the year… for some.

  46. dubb says:

    Turns out ASBOJesus© Furniture is more practical for cartoons than mealtimes..

  47. subo says:

    their different beliefs about communion, was a sticking point

  48. Bro. Dave says:

    From the figure seated at the left end of the table:
    “For what we are about to receive, may the lord make us truly thankful. And may we always be mindful of the needs of others, for Jesus sake, Amen.”

  49. Toby says:

    Waiter: If you can’t beat them, join them.

    Or:
    Guy on right: If you can’t eat all that…

    Or:
    Caption: Christmas – The only time of year gluttony is overlooked.

  50. Val says:

    Man with food to man without : You should have gone to Specsavers!!

  51. subo says:

    waitress sighs silently to herself, ‘I think my feet look so big in this uniform’

  52. subo says:

    an economics philosophy of ‘scarcity’ seem to make people look out for themselves more

    it’s difficult for people to have reciprocal relationships without trust in God’s goodness and personal care for them

  53. pb says:

    ‘if only you had changed your posture, you could have had it all.’

  54. Tim Hyde says:

    So this is Christmas?

  55. Kieran says:

    It was meant to be the annual bring and share Christmas lunch

  56. Charles says:

    The prodigal son was really hungry after returning home, his elder brother was unimpressed …

  57. markk says:

    Christmas came early to Copenhagen this year; and now as then there is no room for the child

  58. When the Smiths discovered their neighbour did not have money for a Christmas turkey, they decided to invite him into their home and show him how a real Christmas are celebrated.

  59. Leila says:

    Jim decided to invite his laid off neighbor to dinner… apparently the poor are still forgotten

  60. Chris Baker says:

    Merry Christmas to ME!

  61. Once-Reluctant says:

    My God punishes the greedy so that they are never satisfied. But unfortunately, we still don’t get it.

  62. abmo says:

    Guy on the right.
    I know I’m with the AA, but you can give me at least a plate of food.

  63. Carole says:

    Bloke with all the food: So you see, Detective Inspector, I have ensured that I and my ill-gotten gains are beyond the reach of even the long arm of the law…

  64. In the interests of diversity, it would be better if you said “can I have just a bit of your *Seasonal* dinner?” Much less offensive to those of other faiths or none. But the answer’s still “no”.

  65. Colin says:

    Bloke with no food: “After all the food miles your lunch has done would a few more yards have mattered? And what’s with the giant salt cellar and pepper pot?”

  66. Carole says:

    Bloke on left: I’ll get the servants to clear the rest of this food and you can start setting up the Subbuteo from your end…

  67. Carole says:

    Bloke on right: You could be a bit more grateful for all the presents I got you!

    Bloke on left: Yeah, but fruit and cider are not quite what I had in mind when I asked for anything as long as it is an Apple product!

  68. Tim says:

    Servant- A truly generous feast sir!
    Man on far right- What’s that you say?

  69. linus says:

    charity begins at home?

  70. rebecca says:

    The man on the right is secretly hiding his delight – because he knows he won’t be the one on a diet in the new year.

  71. Carole says:

    Man on left: Come on…just have some left-over turkey…you can’t let the Boxing Day football results spoil the whole holiday!

    (Phil’s contribution)

  72. Carole says:

    Man on left: Come and have a glass of wine…remember, Jesus is not the reason for the mid-season blip!

  73. Carole says:

    Man on right: To be honest with you, I’ve always hated doing the Conga…anyway, just chuck us a bottle of that white before the ‘revellers’ get back!

  74. Carole says:

    Man on right: My faith is strong and consequently God’s Spirit is a tangible presence in my life… I am blessed richly and materially, as you can see with your own eyes.

    Man on left: Nah, as soon as your servants put the food on the table it slid down your end…a couple of beer mats under the legs should sort it!

    Tagline: Not all ‘Spirit’ claims are on the level.

  75. M says:

    so…. who won?

  76. Jon Roper says:

    In large letters,

    Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

    In small letters underneath.

    Then what?….

  77. Dave Q says:

    And I thought I was the good twin. Alas.

  78. sagein says:

    I missed out because I just subscribed; however I would’ve said…

    Man on the left: “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  79. my mom is an expert when it comes to choosing dining tables, she is always after durability and style .”,

  80. Les Green says:

    I’m tellin’ ya…the table is on a slope

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