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try being a minister’s daughter…
Ouch!
While the rest of the church pat them on the back and remark on how committed and selfless they are.
hmmm i confessed this quite a few years ago. nowadays church gets what i can manage, theres a lot to answer for in the church regarding this. i am going to be a vicars husband soon and my children are almost grown up so it will be less of a threat to them, I just hope I don’t become a lonely vicars husband …
Course you won’t Dennis…as long as your baking skills are up to speed you will be busy with the Mother’s Union
My friend already makes a commitment to have time for his family. praying that I can help support them so that my godson (or his brother or any future ickle siblings) is never screaming that because they’ve been sacrificed for their parents becoming ‘human doings’.
don’t think that is just aimed at vicars:0
I’ve been guilty of this! It’s mostly out of good intentions and we all need people to remind us to “Pay attention to yourself and the rest of the flock” Acts 20:28
Thx for this dosis of humor! It always reminds me of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 It’s a very good thing to take life a little bit less serious. And you help me with that.
I don’t think it’s just time either. My friend is feeling really hurt by her brother and sister-in-law who will put in enormous amounts of effort and energy into ‘good relating’ for their church and ‘ministry’, but don’t have the ability to do the same for family.
Can be so true. See “intervention” by Arcade Fire: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4dNz5nIQhA&feature=related
sadly many of us live on the edge, with the ever increasing demands of capitalism chewing up our lives and isolating us from meaningful time with each other – the church was supposed to make a stand against this, not join in!
it is though, a real skill, to step out against the pressure. we are schooled to be someone, to have opinions, to know …., and it takes a longing to engage at a deeper level to realise all this stuff is in the way
I think there’s a reason why Paul talked about staying single if you want to do ministry. I think there’s some wisdom behind the tradition of Priests being unmarried. What would we be prepared to sacrifice in the name of serving our god? What makes us think that we can wholeheartedly serve the church while getting home in time for tea, tucking the kids into bed and having a normal life? Jesus said he had no family other than those around him. Is it not a symptom of our “have-it-all” culture that we believe we have some kind of right to a healthy family life and that gods work should really stay in business hours? Doesn’t the fact that so many people work themselves into the ground and neglect their families show that full-time ministry is not something to be entered into lightly or without sacrifice? We want far too much for ourselves and are rarely prepared to leave everything and follow him. To be counter culture – i believe – is not to do less and be all restful and serene (although that’s always good) but rather to give it all away for the right reasons, for astonishing reasons, for miraculous reasons. If you want a happy balance of a life – don’t go into ministry. Just saying
I love the feeling I get from spending un-pressurised time at home with my husband. just pottering, Tim might be reading something, I might fix a hair treatment, the washing up beckons in an un-pressurised manner. perhaps that sense of just being a creature who needs a sense of home is at the heart of humility? – we know we are not gods – we can barely manage a conversation, but we are God’s creatures. ( i do appreciate I only get this kind of switched off time because i don’t have children)
clarion call to all of us
it’s SO not worth getting stuff the wrong way round
I heartly agree ASBO and the comments above. The well intentioned minster or Christian can be driven to sacrifice everything to the church or for God’s people b/c of their inner compulsions such as the need to feel as if they are doing their bit; that they can be the ‘saviour’ and the fix it person, that they are indispensible, or that they have the ‘spiritual gift of or ‘this is MY God given ministry’. And they forget they are justified by grace, not works, but live as if they don’t believe it really. Then there is the way our family of origin blends a few verses of Scripture, add a good dose of guilt, and the Evangelical is propelled into action. And the best is yet to come: when we receive the accolades and the adrehelin rush of ‘serving God’ it becomes addictive. And I write this as an Anglican minister. Ministry in any shape is a dangerous place to move into b/c of the distorted views we bring. Let those who serve be judged by the fruits of their ministry: an increase in love (toward others including their family), hope in God and faith that God can do his bit quite well often without my assistance.