1086

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About jonbirch

animator, illustrator, character designer, graphic designer. music producer/recording musician. co-owner of PROOST. proost.co.uk
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35 Responses to 1086

  1. True. When my daughter was in her early and mid-teens, she habitually walked 5 steps ahead of me so folks would not think she was with me.

  2. Geordie Gilly says:

    My brother used to send letters ahead of where my Dad was going, saying “I appologise in advance for anything my father might say or do!”

  3. Kayte says:

    I can’t kids. I’d give anything to be that embarrassing.

  4. dgsinclair says:

    Kayte,

    My thoughts exactly. Having kids is the most wonderful thing I have ever done or experienced, even though it is often hard (kind of like marriage).

  5. Kim says:

    aww Jon, we love ya.

  6. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    I would respectfully suggest that if you have people in your life who are embarrased by you (your kids excepted – they do it only because it’s law that parents are no longer cool once the kid learns about cool), then you really don’t need those people in your life.

  7. Forrest says:

    Kathy Wood tells me God has a reason I don’t have my own kids. She says it has something to do with stuff like how I’d name a daughter Donya Betsy Wood. That’s my pet peeve about Kathy, she keeps bringing totally irrelevant content in to the conversation.

  8. hahahahaha. i just take it as a challenge to be more embarrassing …

  9. TreeHouseBooks says:

    I have an unfortunate knack of saying the wrong thing in the wrong context, (which may be why I identify with Larry David of Curb your Enthusiasm). unfortunately this kind of nervous tick is not very well tolerated in Christian circles, and there’s many a social gathering where I’ve gone home traumatised by the hateful glares after I’ve said something daft. so far I’ve manage not to commit suicide, but it can be a close thing when you feel universally rejected

  10. mdrev says:

    isn’t it part of every parents job description to embarrass their children at some point… as for saying the wrong things I recall a time when a lady in the congregation told me (I was a visiting preacher) that during the service her leg had been hurting ad thats why she had been fidgeting so much – my reply was that I would pray that her leg would not be as sore in the coming week – her reply will always remain with me “pray all you like it’s artificial so its not getting better anytime soon!”

  11. theGreatFuzzy says:

    TreeHouseBooks, have to tried explaining that you have this “knack” to them?
    I find people tend to jump to the wrong conclusion when some one doesn’t conform to the expected behaviour.

  12. jonbirch says:

    mdrev. very funny :-)

    “I find people tend to jump to the wrong conclusion when some one doesn’t conform to the expected behaviour.” ain’t that the truth.

    i’m not a dad, but i do dad jokes and dad dancing. :-)

  13. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    “I find people tend to jump to the wrong conclusion when some one doesn’t conform to the expected behaviour”
    True-dat (as I believe is the modern vernacular for agreement) Great Fuzzy. I’ve often been mistaken for a ‘good Christian’. Not bad going for a life-long atheist.

  14. theGreatFuzzy says:

    AoS: Said “I’ve often been mistaken for a ‘good Christian’. Not bad going for a life-long atheist.”

    Depends what you mean by ‘good’. I mean ‘good’ could mean ‘Fundamentalist’, every thing to the letter. But I can see from your other posts that’s not what you mean, and your morals a way above what’s advocated in Deuteronomy 22, for instance.
    ==
    Back to the cartoon. It is often the case that an uncle, say, who is an embarresement to the family is loved by the kids. When ever he visits they look forward to his dropping a clanger. I have recently come to reaslise I am such an uncle (the kids don’t tell you, of course)!

  15. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Sometimes a little embarrassment can be a good teaching tool. I recall many years ago being in a supermarket on a very busy day when my youngest daughter, 4 at the time, threw the mother of all tantrums. I’m not sure who was most surprised, my daughter or the other shoppers, when this 6ft, 14 stone daddy joined in with the tantrum – foot-stamping, wailing, throwing oneself on the floor and all, but she never threw a tantrum in public again.

    TreeHouseBooks, following from GreatFuzzy’s suggestion above, have you never plucked up the courage to ask the wearers of the hateful glares whether they’re showing a very Christian attitude? Especially if they’re already aware that you’re prone to foot-in-mouthism. Anyway, I think we’re all prone a to slip of the tongue occasionally, and whilst it can indeed be embarrassing at the time it can also make for a good anecdote to tell your real friends.
    The next time you make a gaffe, instead of slinking off with head down, try to remember as much detail as you can, particularly in the reactions of the people around you, and think of the fun you’ll have re-telling it later. But most importantly, if people can’t overlook a slip then they have the problem, not you.

  16. AofS, I so agree. Wear your gaffes proudly. They are stories to tell. Did I ever tell you about the time my skirt fell off in the street?

  17. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    No, but you’ve piqued my interest!

  18. A good many years ago, there was a style of skirt that was pleated and fastened on the side with two buttons at the waist, with no zipper, only a wide flap opening. During the drive to meet friends for lunch in New Orleans, I unbuttoned the skit because it was uncomfortably tight at the waist. Alas, when I arrived at my destination, I forgot the skirt was not buttoned. Since nothing else held it up but the buttons, when I stepped out of the car, the skirt ended up around my ankles. Only an elderly man was nearby, but his eyes grew wide when he saw me. He looked away quickly and moved on as though nothing had happened.

    I picked up my skirt from around my ankles with as much nonchalance and dignity as I could muster, secured the buttons, and went on into the restaurant to lunch with my friends with a story to tell. The elderly gentleman had a story to tell, too, so my gaffe provided a twofer.

  19. jonbirch says:

    nice story grandmere mimi. haha! :-)

    when i was a kid, about 12, old enough to be embarrassed (when you hear the story you’ll understand)… my mum had loads of her lady friends round. it was late and time for bed. being an entertainer, i made a big deal of saying goodnight to all my mum’s pals, trying to make them laugh etc… when i left the room i realised that my willy was hanging out of my pj’s. so embarrassing i remember it really well to this day.

    a friend of mine, as an adult, was walking down a busy shopping street wearing shorts. he felt something tickling the back of his leg. he was alarmed to discover a long piece of toilet paper hanging down. it was hooked in his undies and was flapping around his legs. i’m so glad that wasn’t me. :-)

    acolyte said ‘if people can’t overlook a slip then they have the problem, not you.’… absolutely right.

  20. jonbirch says:

    btw. that last little comment was re. his comment, not the little ‘slips’ in the stories just above. :-)

  21. Oh Jon, your mother’s friends and the willy! I’ll wager your mother either laughed or died when you left the room.

    The toilet paper thing happened to me when I came out of the loo in an airport. My husband looked quite embarrassed when he told me I had toilet paper hanging out of the waist of my jeans in the rear. That he was embarrassed was HIS problem, right?

  22. Well, Jon, I can tell you my slip was showing. I was relieved that I was wearing a slip.

  23. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Grandmere Mimi, it was perfectly natural for your hubby to be a little embarrassed, but I’m sure he didn’t bear a grudge like the people in TreeHouse’s post.
    Loved the skirt story; dignity’s the key all right.

    Jon, you were ‘cougar’ hunting really, weren’t you? :-)

    I was visiting my late mother-in-law (before she became ‘late’ of course) and a friend of hers called round. “Did you hear”? she asked, “Betty buried her husband on tuesday”. Before my brain could say ‘Stop” my mouth said “That’s a bit severe, what did he do this time”?

  24. My husband laughed with me after a few minutes and after the toilet paper was safely deposited in the trash can.

    I have moments when the brain filters don’t function, and they can be quite embarrassing.

  25. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Like the time I was at a dinner party, sat next to a rather rotund woman I’d never met before. During the general chat around the table she mentioned that she and her husband were looking for a bigger house because they were having a baby. I glanced meaningfully at her swollen stomach and asked if they weren’t leaving it a little late. The table fell silent as she frostily informed me that they had plenty of time, they had only just decided to adopt.

    Or the time when I was working as a pub bouncer; there were a pair of deaf guys came in every friday night who talked to each other by signing. This particular night they started to have quite a heated argument, and the more it went on the wilder their gesticulations became, until they were literally flailing their arms around. Worried that they were going to accidentally hit somebody I went across, got their attention and, as they watched my lips, heard myself saying “That’s enough lads, quieten down a bit please”!
    Ouch!

  26. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    Jon, you were saying the other day about your interest in science. I’ve just come across this and thought you might find it interesting http://scienceblogs.com/startswithabang/2012/05/its_supposed_to_hurt_to_think.php?utm_source=networkbanner&utm_medium=link . Don’t be put off by the title, it’s a reference to how hard it is getting one’s head around ‘something from nothing’, but it’s worth it.

  27. theGreatFuzzy says:

    Thanks AoS. The video by Alan Watts had me in tears at the sheer beauty of his reasoning, and at the same time, in laughter at the simplicity of the notion. Nothing will ever be the same again!

    Now back to the ‘real’ world to get some work done.

  28. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    My pleasure, GreatFuzzy. Your reaction is not dissimilar to T.H. Huxley’s – he of ‘Darwin’s Bulldog’ fame – initial reaction on first understanding the beauty and sheer simplicity of that great man’s (big T) Theory of evolution by natural selection; “…How stupid I was not to have thought of that!”.

    Sadly, I’ve an idea that the ‘universe from nothing’ will be even harder to accept than natural selection in certain quarters (and I don’t just mean the proponents of I.D.
    I’d be genuinely interested in hearing the thoughts of anybody else here who’s seen that link.

  29. Les says:

    Hi – will your blog be renamed Crimbo Jesus from tomorrow,in line with the new govt initiative?
    (Criminal behaviour order to replace ASBO)

  30. Forrest says:

    “Crimbo Jesus” sounds like someone with dreadlocks who plays drums :)

  31. Acolyte of Sagan says:

    When preceded by ‘Happy’, Crimbo (or ‘birthday’) Jesus is what Christians say on Dec. 25th.

  32. Carole says:

    ” i just take it as a challenge to be more embarrassing ” My sentiments exactly, Dennis. I mean, you can embarrass kids by doing nothing, you might as well make it worthwhile by going as over the top as you can! Actually by being seen to make gaffes and laugh it off, you are doing your kids a huge favour and giving them an example in grace and humility and the space to make a few gaffes of their own…until they realise that, they wll be embarrassed!

    BTW re the Chrimbo thing, I got a complaint a few years back for mentioning the word Chrimbo in our parish newsletter. An unknown parishioner was deeply offended and very angered by the term which, I think, they found disrespectful. The priest would not divulge the identity of the injured party. I have long since given up parish involvement, but when it gets to December I drop the word into conversation as much as I can to try to provoke a response…no luck as yet ;-)

  33. Pingback: Dads Corner: To My Unborn Child... | Beer : Stuff : Nonsense

  34. subo says:

    good thoughts Carol, I’m often aware of how my open, outspoken Mum made us aware of how to cope with challenges. she’d just say it how it was. sometimes it’s been years later when I’ve had to face something similare, and her comments still support me.

  35. I can actually type “LOL” in response to this comic and mean it! I literally laughed out loud—I can totally relate. I know for a fact that each of my children’s ministry students has been embarrassed by me at least once (what can I say—I’m a little shameless). Hilarious—thanks for giving me a chuckle today.

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