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About jonbirch

animator, illustrator, character designer, graphic designer. music producer/recording musician. co-owner of PROOST. proost.co.uk
This entry was posted in church, relationships, religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to 326

  1. jhieaxon moch says:

    woof! woof! … *waiting for my treat*…

  2. artbizness says:

    Training the dogma.

  3. subo says:

    instilling guilt and a deep sense of eternal unworthyness

  4. Carole says:

    …and probably a certain amount of confusion re the ‘naughty chair’…

  5. jonbirch says:

    i see you’ve all been damaged by this experience then. :-)

  6. Robb says:

    It doesn’t work though! Anything useful you could do with a youth group is deemed anathama by the parents!

  7. thevikingfru says:

    of course he sitting nice now, when he grows up and realizes what’s goin’ on, he will speak out and be called rebelious and not a team player!

  8. Lori says:

    I’m trying to get this one. Is this about people who drop their kids at church and then leave?

  9. Sarah says:

    They’re part of the church – the family – just like anybody else.

    We do try in our our community to value our young ones highly.

    Sas x

  10. jonbirch says:

    hey lori… it’s about making kids adopt a certain kind of behaviour in church… where they dress right, sit still, listen, don’t question, so they can be filled with whatever is given them from the pulpit.
    i happen to think that a bit of discipline in a young ones life is a good thing. it’s what adults are trying to achieve through churchifying them i find awkward and also what kind of stuff their offsprings heads get filled with which can be more than just a bit of a worry.

  11. Carole says:

    As an aspiring teacher of foreign languages to primary age schoolchildren, I’m always hearing the cliche, “They’re like sponges at that age…” But is funny how the little ones interpret church when they are just left to absorb it. Most in my church go through what child psychologists probably call the ‘Thanks Peter God’ stage. Hymns/songs are always good for a laugh. My own daughter gave me a laugh with “I the Lord of shepherd’s pie…” (sea and sky) and “Argos is a catalogue” (Our God is a great big god). Just recently I noticed two little girls giggling away in carol practice. They’d been practising the Basque carol and instead of singing “most highly favoured lady”, they decided it was much more entertaining to sing, “most highly flavoured gravy”.

    And who can forget that dreadful heap of poo feebly masquerading as a song of praise(?) ‘The Lord of the Dance’. This has had numerous variations such as ‘The Lord of the dance settee’ and my own favourite, ‘The Lord of the damp settee’…

  12. Robb says:

    “We do try in our our community to value our young ones highly”

    I think the key is to ignor the people who say “they are the church of tomorrow” and remember that they are the church of today!

  13. jonbirch says:

    you’re right rob.

    carole, i used to sing ‘highly flavoured gravy’… good to know the kids are still at it.

  14. Robb says:

    “The Lord of the Dan settee” really brought back memories of my primary school days! Mr Howley made us sing 2 hymns at every assembly. At theological college I remember someone planning a service with “colours of day” in it. I nearly died laughing all the way through! It was like being back at school!

  15. sarah says:


    I love the Lord of the Dance!

    Sas :-)

    Happy New Year’s Eve/ St Sylvester everyone.

    Sas x

  16. Carole says:

    Sorry Sas! I guess we can’t all like the same things!

    Hope 2008 is a great one for you.

  17. sarah says:

    You too Carole.

    Sarah x

  18. Laura says:

    Funny stories Carole.

    My friend’s little girl used to think God’s first name was Ray because of the song “our God Ray”…(reigns).

    Still makes me smile

  19. jonbirch says:

    what about ‘gladly’ the cross eyed bear. :-)

  20. sarah says:

    Jon- Uhh?!

    Explain do!

    Sas :-)

  21. jonbirch says:

    the song.. gladly the cross i’d bare… sounds like ‘gladly’ the cross eyed bear. get it?

  22. jonbirch says:

    what about… our father who art in heaven, ‘harold’ be thy name… these are both mis hearings from my own family members…. so i’m told.

  23. Carole says:

    Oh I wish you hadn’t told me that…I will have real problems now…

  24. sarah says:

    Dunno the song mate. Still v. funny.

    Sas x

  25. AnneDroid says:

    #14 “Colours of day” is a great song for a funeral, especially a cremation, with the words, “So light up the fire and let the flame burn…”

    What about the Marks and Spencer song (i.e. “As the deer…”) which mentions dear pants (as sold by M and S!).


  26. Robb says:

    My funeral songs? Paradise City by GN’R (as I dissapear behind the curtain) and Won’t you Come to my Funeral by the Crash Test Dummies.

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