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About jonbirch

animator, illustrator, character designer, graphic designer. music producer/recording musician. co-owner of PROOST. proost.co.uk
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32 Responses to 516

  1. PaulW says:

    Reminds me of the hymnwriter Brian Wren’s parody chorus:

    “I’m thinking about me praising Jesus,
    and I’m loving the feeling I feel;
    when I think of his touch,
    I am feeling so much,
    that tomorrow I’ll praise him for real.”

    Someone once wanted the details so they could actually teach it to their people! (And no, they didn’t get that it was a parody…)

  2. JonXlin says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen thongs drawn quite like that before.

  3. TimP says:

    LOL, excellent.

    Reminds me of this Facebook Group – ‘Worship Team Hero’


    This group is intended to promote the development of the new video game Worship Team Hero.

    You play a worship leader of a big time Church in downtown Calgary. As with all worship teams, you must recruit a band (or two) composed entirely of Churched individuals who think they are skilled in their instrument, when really, they are mediocre at best.

    You must develop a repetoire of worship songs. You will train your transposition and arranging skills as you must make sure that every song has no more than four chords (fewer is better). Also, every song must be in either E or G, because any other key is much too hard for guitarists.

    The game takes you through an exciting journey of worship leading as you develop and promote your ministry.

    Feel free to engage and allow your instrumentalists to experiment with solos, but take caution, because any excessive soloing will cause an uprise amongst the old ladies in your congregation.

  4. soniamain says:

    Love this one :):)

  5. subo says:

    Next Sunday we are holding a ‘battle of the worship bands’, the band that gets the most emotional outpouring and slaying in the spirit wins (flat out)

  6. Carole says:

    Interesting graphics on this one, Jon. Are those spare G-strings in case you snap one? What if one goes that isn’t a G? Oh I get it, they’re throwing their undies at her…der! I’m not sure of the significance of the dowsing rods. Is it a special service for New Age ‘seekers’?

    I have always loved music so I find it a bit dificult to get snooty about it. In my parish, I know for a fact that virtually every family has spent out on music lessons for their kids at some point but musicians who are prepared to play are as rare as hen’s teeth. I don’t mind a music-less service but to be fair it is only through the singing that I get any sense of communal worship. I don’t think we pray together with feeling. That said, our people don’t like change so we’ve been singing the same old boring dross for donkey’s years. And they are all out of the back door faster than a rat up a drainpipe at the end so community isn’t wildly strong.

    As a miserable, pathetic, hormonal teenager, I would lock myself in my room for hours listening to ‘soppy, romantic’ pop songs to emphasise my pain at my serial unrequited loves. I think it is fair to say that given the right scenario and competent musicians I am partial to soppy, romantic songs. If they start veering into the territory of Jimmy Ruffin’s ‘Hang on in there baby’ or Marvin Gaye’s ‘Let’s get it on’ I think we can safely say it is time to start worrying…in my experience…ahem! ;)

    Not sure if I know any songs for the spiritually horny…mind you, could be the title for a new Hillsong album.

  7. Carole says:

    …yes, of course it was Johnny Bristol (you buffoon, woman!)

  8. TyTe says:

    ‘Songs for the spiritually horny’ – love it! That’s going to be the title of our next worship album for sure…

    Seriously though, romantic talk about God is part of our heritage and history. One look at Song of Songs is enough to get those wise to Hebrew metaphor hot under the collar.

    Sadly, because many sensed a lack of emotion in traditional worship, it seems we swung to far towards ‘My boy/girlfriend Jesus’ songs and this resulted in the overwhelming soppiness of the 80s/90s. However, there now seems to be a tide of opinion that being emotional in worship is a bad thing. I hope, in our cynicism, we don’t throw the baby out with the bath water…

  9. jenn says:

    This made me laugh out loud. Did you see the South Park episode where Cartman and the boys formed a Christian band? “All you have to do is replace the word “baby” with Jesus….Oh baby, Jesus, I want to be with you.” Hilarious!

  10. subo says:

    “it is only through the singing that I get any sense of communal worship”, – great point Carol, and can be inspiring too if you get to sing something with the sense of justice John Bell introduces into his songs.

    i have at times felt a little crushed when the music stops and a sense of just enjoying being in God’s presence is postponed, as it’s no longer cool to boggie – just imagine finding Elvis taking a mo to lead the worship on the Renewed Earth, followed by James Brown

  11. subo says:

    perhaps the Blues Brothers should be standard viewing at theological coll.

  12. Robb says:

    Personally I am looking forward to Alice Cooper headlining after the old folk have gone to bed after Elvis and James Brown.

    I went to see James Brown a few years ago. Amazing!! And they all had a prayer huddle before they went on stage… all 20 of them!!

  13. Carole says:

    Like Alice Cooper is some kind of spring chicken? :lol:

  14. Linus says:

    TimP thanks for the link its brilliant and just got emailed round our band. TyTe i agree we need to be careful not to throw the oh baby, baby out with the bathwater =]

    I for one welcome “blessed be your name” and “when hope is gone, i’ll call you saviour” etc cos it means i can occasionally join in without having to lie. (ok that’s cynical, i mean that with those songs i can connect emotionally with what i’m saying and say it passionately, cos i actually mean it). But i agree it is a balance and the ideal is that everyone gets something they can really passionately worship through once in a while, and has the grace to put up with what works for other people but not for them.

    What i hope and pray we will move away from is the mushy MOR anodyne compromise where no-one’s particularly offended but no-one’s particularly engaged either.

  15. Robb says:

    Nowt to do with being a spring chicken. More to do with the fact that as soon as you play anything by Alice Cooper all of the sensible Christian types start complaining about his stage act and his ‘satanism’… when he is a Christian…

  16. Linus says:

    Can i just say… Nick Cave! Thankyou.

    Jenn@9 That’s parody imitating life, that is. I’ve actually witnessed people doing this in all seriousness with Robbie Williams songs back in the day.

  17. Pop idol comes to mind.

    I think God’s servants have always struggled with their status as celebrities but now we have the anointed worship leader. It’s so frustrating when people misuse terms from the Bible:

    Anointing is the presence of God that marks us out as different and never leaves us. It isn’t a feeling that comes and goes or something that makes us better than other people.

    Worship is giving our all to God which can be expressed when we gather together by praying or studying the Bible. But a time of worship has come to mean mainly a time of singing. And ‘worship songs’ have come to mean slower more slushy songs.

    Hence was born the idea of the anointed worship leader. Let’s get back to what the Bible really says.

  18. becky says:

    The music that makes my skin crawl is that Nadia Bolz-Weber (the Sarcastic Lutheran – great blog, BTW) terms “Jesus is my Boyfriend music.” It’s that “I want you in me Jesus, loving me, come inside me” that starts to sound like Christian porn.

    Re: Christian cheese – what one person deems to be Limburger the other calls Brie. I went through a praise and worship phase in my twenties when I listened to Amy Grant, Petra and the like and I’ve seen how such music can impact others – so I’m reluctant to criticize it per se. The problem is that the bulk of what is marketed as Christian music is just plain godawful – it’s like in 9. where you take some crappy song and put in Jesus and then all of a sudden it’s OK.

    I love bringing in contemporary music into the church – hence my support of Proost. But what I see in churches like Grace is a sense where music becomes woven into the service almost invisibly so we each interact with the music as it affects us – in the same way I can go into a gothic cathedral and revel in how the organist (assuming they are a talented musician which isn’t always the case) can fill up the place with a melodious sound. There no one is performing but we’re all allowed to be.

  19. 1 John 2:20,27 says ‘But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth…the anointing you received from him remains in you.’ As Christians we all have that ‘special anointing’. It is not just reserved for worship leaders.

  20. Actually, I think what excites God the most is when we obey Him.

    I wonder what would happen if churches around the world decided to have a no-music month? When we returned to singing, we might look at it differently.

  21. Tyler Dawn says:

    Oh, those were g-strings, I thought they were sticks! Actually, they looked like water divining rods, so I was totally confused!

  22. sarah says:

    God I thought “he” was a girl!

    All getting Too confused…

  23. Pingback: ASBO Mund tut Wahrheit kund… at Journeyfiles

  24. subo says:

    confused, love it!

  25. David says:


  26. Carole says:

    Sarah, yep, I thought it was a girl, too…church just isn’t the same since these androgynous types started taking over… :)

  27. Phil says:

    So, you’re not looking for this kind of reaction at Greenbelt then?

  28. Ros says:

    Who are they worshipping? The musician, or God?!

  29. lionelwoods7 says:

    Wrong, Wrong, Wrong! Hey man on the “blackside” we have the same thing. Check out this one:


    You crazy bro!

  30. Carole says:

    Well…it has to beat a lily-livered rendition of ‘Boind us togeder, Lord’…does he do Luther Vandross’ So Amazing?

  31. Pingback: Hymns Part 6 - Jesus is my boyfriend « A Deconstructed Christian

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